"You're trapped in a labyrinth of Minotaur, and there's no way out"
Yes, thank you in providing a solid reason to have a nightmare. Though to think of it, Greek Mythology is of brutality and macabre nature, which points out the awkward greatness of one who built such myths.
Kudos to the likes of Narnia that made ancient mythical creatures a bunch of friendly beasts. It's similar to lying to children on such existence of a fat man with towers of gifts. Well, there is such man, except he doesn't come in to your house to drop a gift and devour the food on the table. Beast.
99
I like you better off without the head. As I may have escaped the ponds, and the tricky cross-over. Misguided by your handy charms and troubled by the mirrored lies. That were doused by my own engineered carousel. Of rotating fears.
....................
I swear I thought the username was your witty way of portraying yourself as an arse. But then it was actually a way of an insignificant symbolic clan to showcase their geeky-ness. Or together-ness. Awww
A: Let me play it now. It's my turn for tetris.
B: There's no turn in tetris!
A: And there's no 'I' in tetris!
B: Yeah there is.
Am good at ruining things like that. Just like the time a friend tried to pull the knock-knock joke on me. Sad.
....................
I swear I thought the username was your witty way of portraying yourself as an arse. But then it was actually a way of an insignificant symbolic clan to showcase their geeky-ness. Or together-ness. Awww
A: Let me play it now. It's my turn for tetris.
B: There's no turn in tetris!
A: And there's no 'I' in tetris!
B: Yeah there is.
Am good at ruining things like that. Just like the time a friend tried to pull the knock-knock joke on me. Sad.
Thumbs Off
"If I have more than two finger thumbs, I would give it to you"
Exactly what I said when a random (apparently) new musician asked for a thought on his/her music, since I had supported them on Jango. I believe that was the miracle of random clicking on his/her part because he/she has gotten more support, thanks to my mindless virtual nods of approvals. I did not even knew on the fact jango has a system of messages and friends request to begin with, thus, the empire of weird statements and human began to appear before me. Not so delightful as half of the faces in the box were fooled by my younger looking self hiding in the picture. Two of them actually gave away their phone numbers which was a bit appalling as I had to learn the default of today's' entities via internet. Nevertheless, it is, in a sort of twisted way, pleasing to see, virtually, on how much in common I have with old people.
I was not enthused when a question of 'Dave Gahan or Brett Anderson' was directed to me. Considering I do not know the answer to it. As subjective as it may be, it was unimportant. The only outcome would either be a debate on why I am wrong or an exchange of how much one of them is much cooler than the other, which was something I have no desire in pondering upon. It is like asking 'If you could revive any of your dead pet, which one would it be?'. The chances of being haunted by those of in my belief unworthy of a new chance to live = uncool.
Though, I have indulged in the love for Mr. Carr's look-a-like. Was not love as in love, more of a love as in like. To see how much my hatred had turned into 'liking' is quite amazing. Never would I thought he was more than an un-interesting lad with a sheer sense of words. And to know the length he went to earn an opinion showed he was more than what I believed he was. In a way, similar, to my own little self, eventhough I had failed in attaining any opinion at all.
Nevertheless, to a friend who hates my guts in enjoying nerdy matters, I am now in joy to inform you, I now have a new mission. Which is to travel to monasteries in search of an answer to a question, Why do people actually bother in spending the rest of their life in the spiritual laced glass house.
Mind you, I do believe in higher being, I just do not believe in setting aside the creations to be closer. And to see whether any of the Lama has an actual connection with the Khans. Here I come Dharamsala! And no, eastern religions are not funny, they are just, inquisitive. But that applies to all religion, or life.
Exactly what I said when a random (apparently) new musician asked for a thought on his/her music, since I had supported them on Jango. I believe that was the miracle of random clicking on his/her part because he/she has gotten more support, thanks to my mindless virtual nods of approvals. I did not even knew on the fact jango has a system of messages and friends request to begin with, thus, the empire of weird statements and human began to appear before me. Not so delightful as half of the faces in the box were fooled by my younger looking self hiding in the picture. Two of them actually gave away their phone numbers which was a bit appalling as I had to learn the default of today's' entities via internet. Nevertheless, it is, in a sort of twisted way, pleasing to see, virtually, on how much in common I have with old people.
I was not enthused when a question of 'Dave Gahan or Brett Anderson' was directed to me. Considering I do not know the answer to it. As subjective as it may be, it was unimportant. The only outcome would either be a debate on why I am wrong or an exchange of how much one of them is much cooler than the other, which was something I have no desire in pondering upon. It is like asking 'If you could revive any of your dead pet, which one would it be?'. The chances of being haunted by those of in my belief unworthy of a new chance to live = uncool.
Though, I have indulged in the love for Mr. Carr's look-a-like. Was not love as in love, more of a love as in like. To see how much my hatred had turned into 'liking' is quite amazing. Never would I thought he was more than an un-interesting lad with a sheer sense of words. And to know the length he went to earn an opinion showed he was more than what I believed he was. In a way, similar, to my own little self, eventhough I had failed in attaining any opinion at all.
Nevertheless, to a friend who hates my guts in enjoying nerdy matters, I am now in joy to inform you, I now have a new mission. Which is to travel to monasteries in search of an answer to a question, Why do people actually bother in spending the rest of their life in the spiritual laced glass house.
Mind you, I do believe in higher being, I just do not believe in setting aside the creations to be closer. And to see whether any of the Lama has an actual connection with the Khans. Here I come Dharamsala! And no, eastern religions are not funny, they are just, inquisitive. But that applies to all religion, or life.
Good Read
http://www.jackherer.com
Lets waste time in reading a completely irrelevant material to your papers. Better than reading tabloids. Poo.
Lets waste time in reading a completely irrelevant material to your papers. Better than reading tabloids. Poo.
The Mushrooms' Trip
Lets watch the Manson documentary and identify which of the girls actually look evil.
A Skosh of Tint.
I could very well feel unadjusted now, since the young ones are much more privileged that they supposed to be. Having your younger friends to instantly own their own cars before you is not much of an underlining concept of life, considering I am still struggling in paying off the debt to my own mother. Damn children with good grades who trade it with wealth.
And to ponder on the vision of me constantly subject myself to contradiction. There's good excuse to it though.
Plus, the Jimmy Carr look-a-like is much better than I expected. Cleverly funny, nerdy in ways I could healthily digest and is in the midst of paying off debts. Total fit, eh?
........
Youtubeperson: Why do people feel the need to label people, such as hipsters?
Yeah, and I don't know what the last one means even by countless numbers of explanation by a friend. To think of it, should I know the meaning?
I love youtube for the interesting bit down the video section. Bless the people who commented.
And to ponder on the vision of me constantly subject myself to contradiction. There's good excuse to it though.
Plus, the Jimmy Carr look-a-like is much better than I expected. Cleverly funny, nerdy in ways I could healthily digest and is in the midst of paying off debts. Total fit, eh?
........
Youtubeperson: Why do people feel the need to label people, such as hipsters?
Yeah, and I don't know what the last one means even by countless numbers of explanation by a friend. To think of it, should I know the meaning?
I love youtube for the interesting bit down the video section. Bless the people who commented.
Nerdiest Move
I have seen. Okay cover of the Blitz though. Not that I fancy them.
But
I do enjoy this
He doesn't sound as annoying as their other songs. Kudos nerd.
Missing Roads
Even in nightmares I am terrified of losing to boys in running. That is when the sneaky kid comes in and indulge in dirty tricks.
A sad note is, I can't join track next semester since it clashes with a class. Damn you Equity. A friend wants me to join cricket as he thinks that will serves me right due to my constant bashing-bash on the whole crickety-match. Well, who would call a sort of sport cricket. Makes sense because the game is laced with crickets' sounds. Though it would be good if I take up cricket, so I can bash people with intelligence and knowledge in the field. Haa worst plan.
"You have nice knuckles"
My mom hates listening to this kind of compliment. It is good for me since It is that much easier in punching others. Sadly I have not use that jolly skill for a while now. Fighting is almost like a kiddies thing. You know, for instance the WWE (previously WWF, knobs), kids enjoy it but once they grow older they realized it is as made up as Paedophile Barney. For the old creature who is still watching it, there is nothing I can help you out on.
I would want to believe I am a lot older and less-kiddies now. Okay, so that explains why we do not punch and kick others anymore. We, do it in a completely different approach, like beating them in poker or CS (yeah!). Fighting is like Best-Friends thingy. It only work on children (as Chumlie says). Almost there grown ups spend their days eating good chocolates and playing games. It is how life works. Sorry kids.
In the meantime, I need to plan the strategy in convincing my mom to allow me in joining the CS team.
Camper over sniper? I miss the stupid 'PWNED' shit written all over you if you lose. Damn you monkeys.
A sad note is, I can't join track next semester since it clashes with a class. Damn you Equity. A friend wants me to join cricket as he thinks that will serves me right due to my constant bashing-bash on the whole crickety-match. Well, who would call a sort of sport cricket. Makes sense because the game is laced with crickets' sounds. Though it would be good if I take up cricket, so I can bash people with intelligence and knowledge in the field. Haa worst plan.
"You have nice knuckles"
My mom hates listening to this kind of compliment. It is good for me since It is that much easier in punching others. Sadly I have not use that jolly skill for a while now. Fighting is almost like a kiddies thing. You know, for instance the WWE (previously WWF, knobs), kids enjoy it but once they grow older they realized it is as made up as Paedophile Barney. For the old creature who is still watching it, there is nothing I can help you out on.
I would want to believe I am a lot older and less-kiddies now. Okay, so that explains why we do not punch and kick others anymore. We, do it in a completely different approach, like beating them in poker or CS (yeah!). Fighting is like Best-Friends thingy. It only work on children (as Chumlie says). Almost there grown ups spend their days eating good chocolates and playing games. It is how life works. Sorry kids.
In the meantime, I need to plan the strategy in convincing my mom to allow me in joining the CS team.
Camper over sniper? I miss the stupid 'PWNED' shit written all over you if you lose. Damn you monkeys.
No Luck Can Sweat Me
Generally, I am not much of a lucky being, unfortunately. It is almost as if it had run in the family genes. My mother and I, and probably the brother, never really win anything. Even when it comes to the lucky draw where everyone will get something, there will be an unlucky touch to it, getting the worst gift or it is broken. The same with the q&a on people where you would be all giddy waiting for YOUR question to be answered. Recently, my awesome (not so) question is neglected after losing to the idiotic ones.
Though a pity goes to a friend of mine who actually thinks hard in asking a witty slash clever question. Unlike me, the pain of being beaten by 'Will you marry me' and 'cats or dogs' is that much unbearable for her to endure. And yes I am exaggerating. Nonetheless, it is, well, shit since you can't even win in petty circumstances. The reason why I have no desire in entering contests. Poo.
But this thing, right here, makes me believe I can't be worse than him, in singing awfully. Weirdo.
Though a pity goes to a friend of mine who actually thinks hard in asking a witty slash clever question. Unlike me, the pain of being beaten by 'Will you marry me' and 'cats or dogs' is that much unbearable for her to endure. And yes I am exaggerating. Nonetheless, it is, well, shit since you can't even win in petty circumstances. The reason why I have no desire in entering contests. Poo.
But this thing, right here, makes me believe I can't be worse than him, in singing awfully. Weirdo.
Spoken Teeth
I want you back in the tees. When it cuts and smiles. Prolonged joys and insanity shaping skin. Forever shines on the back of the glass. Sixty five degree on love. Going around the box to fit yourself. By trading broken tongue for lines.
I want you back in the fleet. Where it circles. In my head. In my waves.
I want you back in the fleet. Where it circles. In my head. In my waves.
Anaemic Royalty
Completely different song but nonetheless, this would be enough in showcasing my love for this man, oh and the band, of course.
The last bit where he kind of gazed at the audience and blasted the last line was epic. Gave me goosebumps, or that was because the ac in the room was tad a bit low.
Nevertheless.
The other day a friend sent me an e-mail marking the sometieth years of the passing of Kurt Cobain. Eventhough I could care less since I was not build in a way I would be responsive in non-related but apparently sad events. The reason why I never cried watching those weird chick flicks (even by being a 'chick'). Though, that particular event (his death) was quite an important part of my life and basically left a mark on the life of mine, courtesy of my brother. That is due to the fact that he was (and still is) a huge fan of Nirvana, obviously. He did not quite mourned the death of the legend but he made sure that event will stick in my head for a very long time.
I do remember after the death (somehow I sound empathetic), he gave me the only band shirt I will ever have. Never worn it since it was too big for me but it is sentimental. Sentimental as because of his death, I had involved myself in the music Kurt himself and my brother loves. That is when Bowie, Melvins, Sabbath, Talking Heads and other comes in. Regardless of how my music preferences had changed over the course of my years, I do remember how it all started, and because (pardon me) the death of Cobain, it happened. I reckon I would have become slightly stupid in this kind of thing if he was still alive or nonchalant.
Oh and he grew the plant of liking the other half inside of me, though my friends think he is (was) ugly, I know if I ever end up with someone of such feature, my brother would love me for good. Haa.
Whatever it is, let us cheer for joy and grief for the man who had changed peoples' lives in one way or another. Good or bad, intelligently or maniacally stupid.
Too bad none of the people I know enjoy listening to his glistening current of sounds, beside my brother. I swear I am a boy stuck in a crazy girls' body since whenever I act like a girl, the whole world seem to crumbles into pieces. Or I am going mad, as always.
Losing Threads
Living in the far east journal, and counting down days just to pass the time. Slowly walking through your phase, since I know I will never get by.
.....................
Missing the t's and the p's. The 10 hours counter-strike. The good food on weekends. Awesome friends with no fouls. Fights over who has better muscles. Cringe when the sight of cakey-twats becomes clear.
It has only been a year but it seems forever. It changed everything. The person who was always beside you is now far ahead of you. I hate twats and that is always it. Trying to pretend they could be different is obviously a fight against diseases.
I should crawl in back to the cave, because maybe The Reds will get out of it and win.
.....................
Missing the t's and the p's. The 10 hours counter-strike. The good food on weekends. Awesome friends with no fouls. Fights over who has better muscles. Cringe when the sight of cakey-twats becomes clear.
It has only been a year but it seems forever. It changed everything. The person who was always beside you is now far ahead of you. I hate twats and that is always it. Trying to pretend they could be different is obviously a fight against diseases.
I should crawl in back to the cave, because maybe The Reds will get out of it and win.
Rene Asmussen
I have forgotten the level of admiration I had for this person.
His works are impeccable. Though some feels his works are a bit too 'dark', I think it is perfect. It is much more difficult to capture this kind of image as it shows emotion and such.
Apparently he is now doing wedding pictures. Brilliant.
Sandy Smiles and Burned Sweats
Khao Lak is brilliant. For a beach hater, I seem to have betray my hatred on such. Not that I enjoy permitting the waves to crash on me but the idea of chilling by the beach is nice. Hideous skin tone is now on parade but the memories are worth the shame. I wish the pictures are nice, unfortunately when you're sweating and being all pig-ish, you look, well, pig-ish. Though a friend reckons we should ditch the rents' and head there next year. Would be great considering I will not have to adhere to the rents' 'sunny' plans.
Looking at the state of my being at the moment, nothing is too good. The coach tortures us last training and deliver a shit news. It would be great if it made any sense since we are asked to play footy when there is only four of us. The tallest one would be the goalie (either my own bloody self or the other girl) and three others would cover the whole match on their own arses. The coach pokes us even more by saying we would all get an A+ if we are through until quarter-final. The fact that the last time I had match is 10 years ago will probably makes me cry if we ever get to quarter final. I can only dream upon waking up in my old athletic self.
Children of my own will be send to sports academy once they could walk. Haa. The one who prefers ballet, stays home. If I ever turn out to be a horrible person that is.
Injuries hit the Arse and I could not be happier. Tough luck beating Barca away sissies.
Looking at the state of my being at the moment, nothing is too good. The coach tortures us last training and deliver a shit news. It would be great if it made any sense since we are asked to play footy when there is only four of us. The tallest one would be the goalie (either my own bloody self or the other girl) and three others would cover the whole match on their own arses. The coach pokes us even more by saying we would all get an A+ if we are through until quarter-final. The fact that the last time I had match is 10 years ago will probably makes me cry if we ever get to quarter final. I can only dream upon waking up in my old athletic self.
Children of my own will be send to sports academy once they could walk. Haa. The one who prefers ballet, stays home. If I ever turn out to be a horrible person that is.
Injuries hit the Arse and I could not be happier. Tough luck beating Barca away sissies.
For The Fools To Hope For
She tells me it is the highers' decision.
That we cannot live the same way.
How some substance will evaporate.
And how love will crumbles.
Nothing more can I beg,
Nor capable in holding back.
False brick on sick mind,
Is made for the fools of mine.
.................
No longer have I the instance in praying for Shef since nothing good comes. Better to sail it away than carrying the wall on your shoulder.
That we cannot live the same way.
How some substance will evaporate.
And how love will crumbles.
Nothing more can I beg,
Nor capable in holding back.
False brick on sick mind,
Is made for the fools of mine.
.................
No longer have I the instance in praying for Shef since nothing good comes. Better to sail it away than carrying the wall on your shoulder.
It's So Good, It Makes You Jump Off The Building
Found this band through a friend and the ever-amazing Jango. It hurts how fine the band is. A smile never skip me once their music is on. It's ashamed they don't get much light. About time a band with a delightful line up of bass, drums and guitar (note: awesome bassline). Must've been a group of lunatics behind the band considering how the music drives people crazy.
And the horoscope tells me I should keep my affair as it is, an affair. Horoscope is a commercialized bull and people are leaning towards its shit. Poo
A better view of your thought.
Wishing the game to reach its end,
To put a stop to the plan.
Engineered by your synchronized lips.
And your underwater beat.
The picture was in you,
Without any sense of direction.
You pursue,
Upon the very last view.
Though I wonder if it ever was clear.
How you and I were always in distance.
But my judgement was too far off,
Even if it had lived in my imagination.
Dreams and the substance,
Were the only reason.
To keep me in your view.
To put a stop to the plan.
Engineered by your synchronized lips.
And your underwater beat.
The picture was in you,
Without any sense of direction.
You pursue,
Upon the very last view.
Though I wonder if it ever was clear.
How you and I were always in distance.
But my judgement was too far off,
Even if it had lived in my imagination.
Dreams and the substance,
Were the only reason.
To keep me in your view.
I May Now Have It All To Myself
Once again.
I could finally breathe the air around me.
And grasps on things I would dream of letting go.
...............
Happy to have my former self again. Kicking the sociological and other interests to a new level. A friend reckon I could get a job once I contact the person holding my dream. As much as my nervous tongue is biting my lips, trying would not hurt. Hopefully I would not appear as a thick monkey.
I could finally breathe the air around me.
And grasps on things I would dream of letting go.
...............
Happy to have my former self again. Kicking the sociological and other interests to a new level. A friend reckon I could get a job once I contact the person holding my dream. As much as my nervous tongue is biting my lips, trying would not hurt. Hopefully I would not appear as a thick monkey.
From My WIndow
From the glass of my bedroom,
I watch their every step.
Lingering around their thoughts,
On how they could be better.
From the invincible wall,
I watch her speak.
In the tone of broken pride,
Murmuring words she barely understands.
From my window,
I watch your fingers.
Holding the tears.
As I watch these people,
I can only imagine.
On their own perspective,
When those eyes turn to me.
I watch their every step.
Lingering around their thoughts,
On how they could be better.
From the invincible wall,
I watch her speak.
In the tone of broken pride,
Murmuring words she barely understands.
From my window,
I watch your fingers.
Holding the tears.
As I watch these people,
I can only imagine.
On their own perspective,
When those eyes turn to me.
Down With The Stream
I let myself dry,
Just to let you see me.
I keep myself from the light.
To make me spins my thought on you.
I make myself ill.
With hope you would help me.
I tear my bones apart.
So you will fix it.
I starve myself to tears.
Like how you steal me away from my fears.
I lie to myself to speak.
For you to see that I am weak.
Can we ever build ourselves better?
To see the picture clearer.
.................
Feeling like you are missing something has done me no good. For the past four days, I only managed to consume a meal for the day. Though it did not wore me off, it did not help me any better. For the things that I have missed and for the scenes I have deleted, I now wish I could find that one piece. We all say things we do not mean but why do we do it to our close ones. Lies are meant for strangers to connect themselves in this world. It is not for spoken emotions and halfway thoughts.
No one enjoys the way the veins pushed themselves. Guess, it was a good choice to mile this life away. By the last bit, it might feel a lot better.
Just to let you see me.
I keep myself from the light.
To make me spins my thought on you.
I make myself ill.
With hope you would help me.
I tear my bones apart.
So you will fix it.
I starve myself to tears.
Like how you steal me away from my fears.
I lie to myself to speak.
For you to see that I am weak.
Can we ever build ourselves better?
To see the picture clearer.
.................
Feeling like you are missing something has done me no good. For the past four days, I only managed to consume a meal for the day. Though it did not wore me off, it did not help me any better. For the things that I have missed and for the scenes I have deleted, I now wish I could find that one piece. We all say things we do not mean but why do we do it to our close ones. Lies are meant for strangers to connect themselves in this world. It is not for spoken emotions and halfway thoughts.
No one enjoys the way the veins pushed themselves. Guess, it was a good choice to mile this life away. By the last bit, it might feel a lot better.
Love, Love.
My obsession of Mimes has never set an end to the many precise dreams of becoming one. I believe it started quite early on during my childhood (there, the setting of my imagination being a lady of the past century). My mom has always mentioned Mr. Chaplin in my days of trotting along her. I have never got the chance to see him in action, though somehow he was (and is) always close to my heart. Seeing him in some of the old film, where the people in the film itself was watching him. That was the only source of inspiration I did ever received from him. Nonetheless, it has not stop me from yearning.
Then I carried on expanding my love for names such as Jean-Gaspard Debureau, Marcel Marceau and the other chap who's name somehow was erased from my box. I had always believed, that one day, I would be loved as one of these amazing artists.
Quite remarkable that my mom fully supported me in my hopes of joining the Club but I still cannot find any that would really help in boosting my luck in such area.
Guess it will always be another number that will never really be cross. Sadly, I have other weird things that I still aching to pursue. Like trying to sound much older by writing rubbish on the net. That is exactly what happen when you wish you had any relatives with World War's stories.
And still, many turns to the art of getting along with philosophical minds.
Tough Luck.
So They Say
"I decided when I was 18 that I really didn't want to start showing my work until 20 years has passed. I didn't want anyone to corrupt my aesthetic. I felt really strongly about keeping my work pure and honest and intimate. Whenever I try to make art, I make it as if it's my last, because you just never know in this life, you could be hit by a bus or something."
- The late Shawn Mortensen
"The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any."
- The late Fred Astaire
"He dares to be a fool, and that is the first step in the direction of wisdom."
- The Chopin Guy :)
"There is a wisdom of the head, and a wisdom of the heart."
- Charles Dickens
- The late Shawn Mortensen
"The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any."
- The late Fred Astaire
"He dares to be a fool, and that is the first step in the direction of wisdom."
- The Chopin Guy :)
"There is a wisdom of the head, and a wisdom of the heart."
- Charles Dickens
Ocean of Emotion
You are a tool
but boy,
I can never work you.
You have the spark
But son,
I am always afraid to touch you.
You own the lights
but hey,
I like it better off the sky.
You are nothing
But love,
.............
I am incapable of ending things like this. Halfway along the lines, I would freeze and cringe a little. Sadly, I love the feeling. Of never ending sadness and dreams.
Enjoying every break of your own baggage is something everyone should indulge in.
It is amazing how one cannot help to catch the tears without having voices stopping the time of the loved ones. A fascinating friction when you burst into an ocean of emotion once you clear off your mind. A strong urges of pretentious suicidal effort when you cannot seem to get the feet together.
I am of sentimental bones, and I appreciate such gift.
There is a line from some film that goes something like, you are too intellectual to be sentimental, or something like that.
Though I have the sappy bones, I did not receive any consideration in letting me inhale the courage just to let others know of my feelings. I do not even have the strength to inform the people around me of the very existence of this tiny box of clutters. I am too afraid of others interpretation of my feelings, which hurts me even more when they cannot get into it.
This is not for me to impress anyone. This is for me to find someone who could tell me how he or she feels when he or she tries to read me. To read my life. I want others to try to break into the state that I am currently in. Not just read the signs blindly and tells me how uninteresting they are. It is never about putting a new interest in you, it is about pulling the interest off you.
Once you are interested in something, you will automatically ‘enjoy’ it, and I do not wish for another lonely life catcher to enjoy me.
but boy,
I can never work you.
You have the spark
But son,
I am always afraid to touch you.
You own the lights
but hey,
I like it better off the sky.
You are nothing
But love,
.............
I am incapable of ending things like this. Halfway along the lines, I would freeze and cringe a little. Sadly, I love the feeling. Of never ending sadness and dreams.
Enjoying every break of your own baggage is something everyone should indulge in.
It is amazing how one cannot help to catch the tears without having voices stopping the time of the loved ones. A fascinating friction when you burst into an ocean of emotion once you clear off your mind. A strong urges of pretentious suicidal effort when you cannot seem to get the feet together.
I am of sentimental bones, and I appreciate such gift.
There is a line from some film that goes something like, you are too intellectual to be sentimental, or something like that.
Though I have the sappy bones, I did not receive any consideration in letting me inhale the courage just to let others know of my feelings. I do not even have the strength to inform the people around me of the very existence of this tiny box of clutters. I am too afraid of others interpretation of my feelings, which hurts me even more when they cannot get into it.
This is not for me to impress anyone. This is for me to find someone who could tell me how he or she feels when he or she tries to read me. To read my life. I want others to try to break into the state that I am currently in. Not just read the signs blindly and tells me how uninteresting they are. It is never about putting a new interest in you, it is about pulling the interest off you.
Once you are interested in something, you will automatically ‘enjoy’ it, and I do not wish for another lonely life catcher to enjoy me.
What Would You Do If I Follow You
What makes a stranger qualify himself or herself as your companion?
I believe many have accepted this form of hypocrisy due to the saying 'The more the merrier'. Since I am always the odd one in the circle, I must admit that I concur to my own saying 'The less the longer'.
Why attract many when you can't keep all?
Though I was not as this when years were much slower. I used to love being in the middle of the social gathering with tons of human flesh excreting the bad water. It was the tantalizing spirit of together-ness that brought me a new perspective of 'more'. However, like every superficial dreams, it did not last. Eventually I learned that not every breathing statue is an angel.
Thus, revamping my former self to the current state of behaviour. I do not necessarily feel the need to surround myself with bodies behind the bricks as, well they are hiding behind the bricks. Friends kept telling me to stop separating myself from this 'world', but why should I succumb to the obligations being laid out by the 'world' when nothing lasts forever?
If I have to die alone then so be it. Emily Dickinson survived such life so why can't I?
So, if I have to swallow the comments on the 'less than 100' friends on social network, I would be delighted.
I believe many have accepted this form of hypocrisy due to the saying 'The more the merrier'. Since I am always the odd one in the circle, I must admit that I concur to my own saying 'The less the longer'.
Why attract many when you can't keep all?
Though I was not as this when years were much slower. I used to love being in the middle of the social gathering with tons of human flesh excreting the bad water. It was the tantalizing spirit of together-ness that brought me a new perspective of 'more'. However, like every superficial dreams, it did not last. Eventually I learned that not every breathing statue is an angel.
Thus, revamping my former self to the current state of behaviour. I do not necessarily feel the need to surround myself with bodies behind the bricks as, well they are hiding behind the bricks. Friends kept telling me to stop separating myself from this 'world', but why should I succumb to the obligations being laid out by the 'world' when nothing lasts forever?
If I have to die alone then so be it. Emily Dickinson survived such life so why can't I?
So, if I have to swallow the comments on the 'less than 100' friends on social network, I would be delighted.
Deviance and Solace
Bound by the lack of cooperation from the sympathy crowd, I should rest my fingers in keeping it alive. Just when I thought I could achieve something rather great for my own self, the world decides to retract my very lucky stars.
Mother always says, things happen for reasons, but what if the reasons are not of which you would easily accept and digest? We all have reasons though that does not qualify us in swallowing back the pieces we have spilled out.
Friend that never grew out of the job of comforting me believes, that it would be better for me to stay where I am. As the mistakes dumped are waiting for a re-construction. It cannot shift itself from where I had left it.
Shall I obey by the rules of life, since it is the only form of tracking device that could help me, in some sort of funny manner.
The ever-reclusive side of me will never be something grand, like Mr. Salinger, Ms. Garbo or Proust himself.
So why should I bother in not bothering others?
Well things happen for a reason and it is best for an entity to stay where they are.
Mother always says, things happen for reasons, but what if the reasons are not of which you would easily accept and digest? We all have reasons though that does not qualify us in swallowing back the pieces we have spilled out.
Friend that never grew out of the job of comforting me believes, that it would be better for me to stay where I am. As the mistakes dumped are waiting for a re-construction. It cannot shift itself from where I had left it.
Shall I obey by the rules of life, since it is the only form of tracking device that could help me, in some sort of funny manner.
The ever-reclusive side of me will never be something grand, like Mr. Salinger, Ms. Garbo or Proust himself.
So why should I bother in not bothering others?
Well things happen for a reason and it is best for an entity to stay where they are.
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