And she dances with her skin. Bearing the earth breaths. Dancing to disappear. Chase the lights away. Fall addicted to the silence. And he watches her move her soul. Gazing upon the grace under the lighted darkness. Carefully whispering the lines. 'And I feel you'. Pushing her feet to the ground. 'How can you feel when I move. When every elevation is of reasons. How can you feel when you know of no reasons'.
Mother is a dancer. Faithfully affecting her body to a story. A beautiful rhythm where people enjoy in the dark.
I rarely dance. Especially in front of people. As I have no story to tell. No rhythm to sway you close to me.
I long to move. With the air and the trees. Serenading me to peace.
Once you see me dance with my skin, then it is of my expectation, to have you see me through.
Nature Child
"You are free spirited as you remember what it is like being a child. The problem is, you don't seem too interested in the life we are all in. Find a flower or a path, as that would guide you further."
The trouble in knowing weird people.... They shouldn't have asked me to search for a flower, since they SHOULD know I am allergic to those.
Mother should have never involved herself with clairvoyants, psychics, card readers, or whatever they wish to be called. None of them has actually produced words I want to hear. One have mentioned 'You will only be happy when you reached the later age', and another one 'You don't seem to be in sync with the world. Perhaps someone could pull you in'.
Growing up it is usual for the family, friends or strangers to perceive me as weird, eccentric, alien-like creature. Some even told me that they would not be surprised if it is exposed that I am an alien. One old man believed that I am the child of the nature. Who separate self from the build ups and the known. Again, whatever that may inspire, wouldn't attract me that much.
I love nature, animal, rocks, and I even intended to study leaves once - until I realized no one is interested in joining. As a child I had proclaimed my love for the wild nature, writing 'I love Tarzan' on the wall of my bedroom, and writing letters to my mother asking her to accept a monkey as my brother. It all seemed natural to me, even the family grow to come to such terms.
If I am left with a choice, I would have abandon this life and retreat to the wild. A nice tree house or a cosy cave to call home. Not too worried on food, since if my life is to be put to a halt, my body would be an offering to the earth, to take me back they way it has created me.
Oh and nobody would tell me to brush my hair or shave.
Dreams and wishes are free, but it would be immense if I have the currency to make it real.
And I hate hippies, because they don't save themselves for the earth - bunch of pretentious grouping who are actually quite interesting, but fail to serve the purpose.
The trouble in knowing weird people.... They shouldn't have asked me to search for a flower, since they SHOULD know I am allergic to those.
Mother should have never involved herself with clairvoyants, psychics, card readers, or whatever they wish to be called. None of them has actually produced words I want to hear. One have mentioned 'You will only be happy when you reached the later age', and another one 'You don't seem to be in sync with the world. Perhaps someone could pull you in'.
Growing up it is usual for the family, friends or strangers to perceive me as weird, eccentric, alien-like creature. Some even told me that they would not be surprised if it is exposed that I am an alien. One old man believed that I am the child of the nature. Who separate self from the build ups and the known. Again, whatever that may inspire, wouldn't attract me that much.
I love nature, animal, rocks, and I even intended to study leaves once - until I realized no one is interested in joining. As a child I had proclaimed my love for the wild nature, writing 'I love Tarzan' on the wall of my bedroom, and writing letters to my mother asking her to accept a monkey as my brother. It all seemed natural to me, even the family grow to come to such terms.
If I am left with a choice, I would have abandon this life and retreat to the wild. A nice tree house or a cosy cave to call home. Not too worried on food, since if my life is to be put to a halt, my body would be an offering to the earth, to take me back they way it has created me.
Oh and nobody would tell me to brush my hair or shave.
Dreams and wishes are free, but it would be immense if I have the currency to make it real.
And I hate hippies, because they don't save themselves for the earth - bunch of pretentious grouping who are actually quite interesting, but fail to serve the purpose.
Happy Christmas Donkeys
Past:
- Late night poker coupled with drunken carolling
- Gathering around the lighted tree discussing WWII
- Running around a hotel with a bucket full of ice, with a nice White Elephant the next day.
- Picnic at the park, witnessing a mental man with an imaginary dog.
- Dousing in Glogg and Julmust with your voice on the line.
- Freezing party on a frozen lake in one country, and Champagne party in another, on the same year.
Current:
- Shit movies with nostalgic run down on the past.
Future:
- Tenerife, with the lads, laughs, and foodies.
- Late night poker coupled with drunken carolling
- Gathering around the lighted tree discussing WWII
- Running around a hotel with a bucket full of ice, with a nice White Elephant the next day.
- Picnic at the park, witnessing a mental man with an imaginary dog.
- Dousing in Glogg and Julmust with your voice on the line.
- Freezing party on a frozen lake in one country, and Champagne party in another, on the same year.
Current:
- Shit movies with nostalgic run down on the past.
Future:
- Tenerife, with the lads, laughs, and foodies.
Living is personal
'Why do people seems to hold on to the decision to shit on us?"
For New Year, I will adopt a different approach to life. Instead of worrying about the non-existence duty to please others, the only thing to occupy my mind would be on myself and my mother.
I have my studies, my health, and my future to guard - in addition of the bad events that have befall on my mother. With her alarming health problem, horrible people intensely waging grudges against her, and the unfortunate financial crisis with credits to the super efficient government.
It is within thoughts that during this time, people around me would gather strength and channel it in, to hold me together when it is all falling apart. The opposite impression is the only support they decided to give. A part of me is in bliss to have distant my soul from others, having the chance to be with my mother for a whole week. No regret is spared for neglecting the pictures of laughters, as those are temporary.
The exact fact that no one can or wants to displace the unwanted news that is slowly reaching us on the 29th makes it definite.
I will be fine with the looks on me, spitting the nauseating words that do not even compute in rational minds. I will be fine with your(s) treatments that stem from imbecile minds. I will be fine with your(s) absence as you (s) serve me no purpose. I will be fine to leave you behind, just like how you left me when the struggles pull me in.
There will be no hesitation, to not see you bastard as friends.
If is it difficult to appreciate my feelings, then you should probably stop lingering, because I have keep all the fucks in my pocket and there is intention in handing them out just yet.
To the idiot hag that spread silly stories on how my mother faked her health problems to get out of work, my mother was bed-ridden for two months with me having to come from school every fucking day to care for her, and now there is a strong possibility that it will occur, again. So my wish for you that you will experience worse and suffer, because none of your children is civilised and actually care for you. Good luck going through that because a scum like you deserves nothing. And you are ugly and so are your daughters.
To the 'friends', I can only hope one day you will get your entitlement. Anyone with an audacity to say such about a person, would only belong in hell or a really bad place if you do not believe in those.
And to everyone else who has been rather impressive in writing me off, thank you for drawing me closer to my senses.
I have dispose friends before, so do not think you people are worthy for me to keep. To those who will never be close to me, pray that on the 29th, good news are for myself and mother to embrace. And God, I am inadequate to walk under these clouds.
and Hanna, thank you for stealing my idea of having that tattoo on the back of the neck. You little scoundrel.
For New Year, I will adopt a different approach to life. Instead of worrying about the non-existence duty to please others, the only thing to occupy my mind would be on myself and my mother.
I have my studies, my health, and my future to guard - in addition of the bad events that have befall on my mother. With her alarming health problem, horrible people intensely waging grudges against her, and the unfortunate financial crisis with credits to the super efficient government.
It is within thoughts that during this time, people around me would gather strength and channel it in, to hold me together when it is all falling apart. The opposite impression is the only support they decided to give. A part of me is in bliss to have distant my soul from others, having the chance to be with my mother for a whole week. No regret is spared for neglecting the pictures of laughters, as those are temporary.
The exact fact that no one can or wants to displace the unwanted news that is slowly reaching us on the 29th makes it definite.
I will be fine with the looks on me, spitting the nauseating words that do not even compute in rational minds. I will be fine with your(s) treatments that stem from imbecile minds. I will be fine with your(s) absence as you (s) serve me no purpose. I will be fine to leave you behind, just like how you left me when the struggles pull me in.
There will be no hesitation, to not see you bastard as friends.
If is it difficult to appreciate my feelings, then you should probably stop lingering, because I have keep all the fucks in my pocket and there is intention in handing them out just yet.
To the idiot hag that spread silly stories on how my mother faked her health problems to get out of work, my mother was bed-ridden for two months with me having to come from school every fucking day to care for her, and now there is a strong possibility that it will occur, again. So my wish for you that you will experience worse and suffer, because none of your children is civilised and actually care for you. Good luck going through that because a scum like you deserves nothing. And you are ugly and so are your daughters.
To the 'friends', I can only hope one day you will get your entitlement. Anyone with an audacity to say such about a person, would only belong in hell or a really bad place if you do not believe in those.
And to everyone else who has been rather impressive in writing me off, thank you for drawing me closer to my senses.
I have dispose friends before, so do not think you people are worthy for me to keep. To those who will never be close to me, pray that on the 29th, good news are for myself and mother to embrace. And God, I am inadequate to walk under these clouds.
and Hanna, thank you for stealing my idea of having that tattoo on the back of the neck. You little scoundrel.
Like Every Other Fuck You's
It seems ridiculous how we are struggling to balance off on the sinking boat. It seems ridiculous how you don't seem to get the plea.
I know for a fact that if I had accepted the invitation and pursue the urge to spend the night away with you, we would have been in a different set of life. Regret is circling my head. Regret is injecting itself on me.
I cannot spare a moment to beg you to go away, as we have known each other for so long. Though it is a pleasant option for you leave me and never look back. We may have found something inside but it is tailored for a different occasion. I will make you leave, because that is the only way I could find peace. The memories is ours to keep, but I must refuse an extension of such collection.
If this happen to be within your normal experience, please forgive me for driving you away. The horrifying days where you call for me, and displace me. Can no longer linger around this shit,
I know for a fact that if I had accepted the invitation and pursue the urge to spend the night away with you, we would have been in a different set of life. Regret is circling my head. Regret is injecting itself on me.
I cannot spare a moment to beg you to go away, as we have known each other for so long. Though it is a pleasant option for you leave me and never look back. We may have found something inside but it is tailored for a different occasion. I will make you leave, because that is the only way I could find peace. The memories is ours to keep, but I must refuse an extension of such collection.
If this happen to be within your normal experience, please forgive me for driving you away. The horrifying days where you call for me, and displace me. Can no longer linger around this shit,
Permanent Self
When the rain falls
under the shining lights.
When the tree shakes
on exchanges of smiles.
When our eyes closed
and the feelings grow.
Maybe these days are
nothing but a dream.
..................................
While I was supposed to let my ears pick up the readings I get by watching the lips, the thought that perhaps these very lengthy days could very well be just a dream. Like when you sleep for a couple of hours, but you developed multiple events that would normally stretch to days. It could possibly be that we are in a very comforting position, and our minds decided to take off. Wandering around the lines, building the seconds.
And at the end of it all, the sound breaks in and we no longer exist as we were in it. I would probably be an obnoxious cow lamenting on the absence of cosmetic shit, or I am the persona I have always been dreaming of in the dream.
This could be a case of lethargy. Or my head can no longer pursue the greater thoughts. Or I am giving up, hence the idea that this life is not real and temporary. Though that line does make sense as life is temporary.
But with that, what is permanent?
Not feelings, builds, faces.
What is permanent for me to hold on to?
What is permanent for me to remind myself of?
What is permanent for me to feel safe?
What is permanent for me to exist?
under the shining lights.
When the tree shakes
on exchanges of smiles.
When our eyes closed
and the feelings grow.
Maybe these days are
nothing but a dream.
..................................
While I was supposed to let my ears pick up the readings I get by watching the lips, the thought that perhaps these very lengthy days could very well be just a dream. Like when you sleep for a couple of hours, but you developed multiple events that would normally stretch to days. It could possibly be that we are in a very comforting position, and our minds decided to take off. Wandering around the lines, building the seconds.
And at the end of it all, the sound breaks in and we no longer exist as we were in it. I would probably be an obnoxious cow lamenting on the absence of cosmetic shit, or I am the persona I have always been dreaming of in the dream.
This could be a case of lethargy. Or my head can no longer pursue the greater thoughts. Or I am giving up, hence the idea that this life is not real and temporary. Though that line does make sense as life is temporary.
But with that, what is permanent?
Not feelings, builds, faces.
What is permanent for me to hold on to?
What is permanent for me to remind myself of?
What is permanent for me to feel safe?
What is permanent for me to exist?
Mixed Touch
The most awesome character. He is super during both the grave and bike periods.
Why do the animals need to feel insecure over the name, because you've taken the vibe it was carrying. WWE is just fucking stupid after the secondary school year.
A wrestler, named Shelton Benjamin. It's like watching Solicitors Guide TV. And the idiotic Texan who happen to be the cool dude in his previous days.
Good times...
But to end the day with horrible replay is just sickening.
To think that after all these years, it would've change. It's expected to have this feeling when you start the day singing the one melancholic oldies song, or at least I find it to be such
Fuck this shit. I need my ten year old self back.
Seasonal Rampage
You are just one of the many faces I had imagined
Once the smile stops the glower soon begins
As we are against what was behind us
As we are in dilemma for the memories
........................
Not only have I been made to disembark the ship to Christmas joy, I have been forced to carry the health of an unhealthy man. Only now did I realized how occupying the classes would be, since I had the urge to attend despite the condition, when normally thousands of excuses are being put together to avoid the grueling hours of chatty periods.
Here's the season to be jolly.... The irony of it all....
Once the smile stops the glower soon begins
As we are against what was behind us
As we are in dilemma for the memories
........................
Not only have I been made to disembark the ship to Christmas joy, I have been forced to carry the health of an unhealthy man. Only now did I realized how occupying the classes would be, since I had the urge to attend despite the condition, when normally thousands of excuses are being put together to avoid the grueling hours of chatty periods.
Here's the season to be jolly.... The irony of it all....
Be Gentle
Finally managed to rearrange the room. Though the steps are now flourished with the books, the old shelves are now left collecting more dust. A reason to buy more books and little things. The old maid card has been in my collection for years. Wonder if kids these days know about it, or even heard of it. The terror when you have the old maid card.
I am going to search for Happy Families and the other to complete the collection. And to buy different cards from different countries, because the one I found in Thailand is interestingly valuable to circus-head as myself.
(Thank you some guy in the record store for the free CD's. Sorry I didn't email you to forward my appreciation, or look for ways for me to do such :) )
This is given as gift and as a force to remind me that one day, I will have my feet on the ground and hopefully my bum as well, on the seat not the ground. But if all else fails, bum on the ground would do.
Praying the wind would scatter some lovely air around me.
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