:O

They've got the new season of Would I Lie to You on Youtube now!

Ah doesn't David looks fit now. How will that helps me in imagining him trolling around Coventry with the other National Trust members. His fit self will look ridiculous when he mentions anything on the history now. We want the old Mitchell back, at least I do. The thought of a good looking lad interested in history initiate the goosebumps on my skin. Not that it is not possible, it's just unlikely. Anyway, my eyes are glued to a different kind of 'good-looking' people, so no need to call for an emergency.

I've got Irvine Welsh 4Play today. Adaptations from Mr. Welsh's novels and there are (obviously) 4 plays in it and so far I'm loving it. I heard they've got Les Miserables's play in stores but I can't find it. There are lots of books that are far too distant from my beings. I have always wanted to get history books, but there are too damn expansive. Books are suppose to be enlightning but with that kind of price tag, it becomes excrutiatingly painful to read.

Life is all good until the world decided it was time for people to be illiterate and boring again.

M,m

" Whenever I want you, all I have to do, is dream"


Not so much when your freakishly lucid dreams haunt you. Though, the picture of having seated next to you, uttering words I would never have uttered, made me wonder, have I gone mad? It was as if all of the efforts of staging the ploy was real. As if the talking monkey I had long wished for appeared right in front of me. They say, if you dream of losing teeth, you are most likely in worries of your age-ing self and physical appearance. Yeah, I've always ponder on how I would survive getting older, how I could live another day leaving my past and younger self. Who coined these ayway.
Freud probably has the best eyesight in the world, since his books are in such fonts. Does praying for better eyesight a good pray? (Suggesting to spell it as prey will not make it a better phrase)
It's a bad thing when you suggest that I fit all the things I'm interested in. Only because your points fail to reflect the goods of it. 'Love trancends infatuation', how much more irrelevant can that be. Infatuation builds within the love itself. No one becomes infatuated because they were bloated with Tootsies. The love itself is a wrecking ball, when you switch it on that is. Being in love is like stuck in cage with your acquaintances staring straight at you. It's shit, or will be shit.
Does written intermission plays a role in writing materials?
I need female kopities, are the kop players that disgusting that only a pinch of female population supports them. Regardless of that, all my life, I had only A male buddy who's willing to stitch the lager brand onto his tummy. Liverpool aren't that bad since they've won almost all the title, but we need to win BPL this seasn for Stevie G. Unlike certain donkey, he has played and stayed loyal to the kops since he had first started.
Go, you figure it yourself.

What?

Are all librarian and bookshop attendance a bit snarky. In a sense that they over evaluate you as a customuer. Not that it is a bad thing, it just puzzles me.

I was thrilled when I heard we were going out for books (groceries and shits too). Though we went to a different store than I intended to release my thrilling bubbles. Nonetheless, I had to search for Winfield as I had been asked to get it. They had changed the book sections so I had to go to the information counter to asked it's whereabouts. The guy standing behind the counter looked as normal as any librarians would be. I threw him Winfield's name but somehow he found it funny. He kept poking me about the name eventhough I was nonchalant about it. Then, with all the courage and insensitive boy in him, he asked me 'What was your REAL dream?'. How much more obvious can my face be, this should be the time where the actress caged inside me faked a smile but she was lost. In ways even babies would have laughed. He repeated the same words then leaned to me with a face of 'Tell me now or I'll shoot you' (exagerration is for entertainment purposes only yeah). With that, all of my objectives to be prudent dissapeared, and I answered 'Árt History'. He went on about why I changed my mind and daft things like that, so I wish to neglect that bits as it annoys the fuck out of me. When he told me they don't have the book and yada-yada, he (again) leaned to me and said 'Don't let them ignore and forget about your dreams, don't listen to them, even your parents, it's too precious'. Yeah, how weird was that. I felt like having that little devil in the Lords of the Rings spoke to me. He's mad alright. My mum reckons he's into me but that has got to be the worst (and ridiculous) pick up lines, ever. I wish the guy in Tesco would have talk to me instead of LOTR devil (Gollum was it?).

Doesn't bother me the fact that I have never fond of librarians or related entities. Don't I possess any looks of lawyers or legal being? Oh he told me I would make a good Art History teacher. Hah for once.

......................................

I'm giving my child's name (if it's a girl) Alva or Irva. Thanks Edward for such insight on names.

Wow Wow Yeah!


Paul Smith and Pringle?
Some jobs eh?
......................

I want this!

And the melon.. :)


It's On!

What started of with an agonizing period of accepting my luck has turn into a war.

OH zangat, don't try to humiliate kids who doesn't appreciate your lack of effort to make us like you and your slides. I did tell you, I don't believe your subject lets me spit out my words but you insisted that I was wrong. And now, out of the blue, you made up your mind and decided I was right all along? Shit, you must be that mad to invalidate your own statement. You can't change what you were born as, even if you practice every shits that they were taught. Please, (I am actually begging) to not asks me to take back my opinion. Opinions are opinions and they stay that way until the whole world choose to accept it as a fact. We are not smart as we are only ingesting others' thoughts and ideas. Don't patronize people as you are only making a fool out of yourself. Stop wearing that idiotic mask of yours as you are dying mentally.

Kind of makes me think, are we bound to be taught by senseless teachers for the rest of our lives

If before this, I look foward to Thursday (since the next day would be the start of free time for me), now, I have to take it back and put it in my regret box. Not that I have one, since that would be pathetic.

...............................................

How much losses do I have to put up with. Come on Kops, stop playing like little monsters. It's only the start of the season, and you suck. I have to state that as people around me keeps on muttering it every single day. I guess he was right, Spanish players are a bunch of woosies when it comes to accepting failure. We need proper men in the team! Not a bunch of knobs...

....................................................

I was told, severely, by members of the world, that I should stop switching off reality when it is in motion. What does that suppose to mean anyway? I thought we were made to accomodate our own preferences on the speed of life. Whatever it is, the throbbing sounds of ridiculous rhythm of consensus against me prevail.

I still need you. Not that I want you, I just, need you.

Come on.

The idea of letting boredom conquers you is quite amazing actually. It's like a slithering knob waiting to annoys you.

I love being bored sometimes. It gives me power to imagine things. Like when J.K Rowling wrote Harry Potter. She never told anyone, but I knew she was bored as hell waiting to arrive to her destination. Authors always lie. It gives them motivation to write better. Of course I lied about that, that is why I love writing.

Some words should never have come out.

Yes, as I promised (who?), I would make a random playlist.

1. The Coral - Dreaming of You
2. Dropkick Murphys - Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced
3. The Tossers - Siobhan
4. Robots in Disguise - Get RID!
5. Fiona - Parting Gift
6. Nirvana - PennyRoyal Tea
7. Manic Street Preachers - The Everlasting
8. The Blood Brothers - Ambulance vs. Ambulance
9. Cynic - *Couldn't remember the title*
10. Girls Aloud - Love Machine

Told ya it is random.
I could list some more but why bother eh?

Gonna Wanna.

The smell of old chocolates and fresh towels made me feel normal again.

To be honest, living without a free-clean-easy washing machine made the cloth I used to wipe myself reeks. Part of me would like to stay there and skip the dream, but another part of me is dragging my feeling towards the departure lounge.
If life is full of shit, how do I flush it off?

As usual, Wednesday (past) has been fuuuun. A class in the morning and stupid yet amazingly fun kawad later on. I am aware on the fact my friends have been questioning the credibility of my elated stories. 'Kawad to me is fun... but you? Man that's something else', was the exact words of a friend of mine. Actually, three of them said the same things in a different manner. Shit, never would I thought they would think I am lying. Can't say what really made me enjoy doing it, though some would think they know why... hmmmm, but I am glad it made me skip the emotional zone. Minus the exhaustion and unbearable smell, I am happy I am actually out of the four-walled setting and doing something 'healthy'. But, the event of the 'eyes' talking nicely to me made me feel shit. Ah he was being nice and considerate to me since I was sweating and panting like mad. See, even with eyes like that, he can be considerate. Fuck, I should stop calling him that because I was supposed to be a nice person now. Not that anyone would believe me but hey, I got the chance to sleep through the morning but I pass. See I am a better person now.

My mom was actually encouraging me to join the kawad for the next few years I will be spending there. She said it will make me more 'gagah'. Haha what a joke. Nothing, and I mean nothing can take away the child in me that easy. Wow, guess I can be tough like that. Blood pressure, don't go down on me!

..............................

For few days now, I have been listening to people talking about Peter Pan and stuff. The truth is, I have not watch or have any knowledge in fantasies based children stories. I know about the seven little people and animals helping that poor girl and little red riding hood, but other than that, zero. Never has it cross my mind that someday I will discuss about the stories with my friends.
The fact that Dora was sacked due to her wierd influences to kids made me kind of sad. For her. You see she was sacked and replaced by her boring cousin, Diego. How would that made you feel. Eh Dora (Dojan) relax ya. You'll get another job, another pointless and ridiculous job that is. Haha
.......................
Go Reds. We have to win this season or I'll end up being called a loserfool fan for the next term. Be nice to me and win the damn title. Don't care on the fact we have the most 'patah' players, I still support you guys. What an encouragement...
.........................
Yes Hanna, the reason why I am writing like this is to piss you off. We can't write anymore. At least I can't. My head is spinning 'round with dodgy songs since... ever? When will we exchange accents. I could do some damage by talking with your accent. Bet you would be cast out too with my way of talking. Sheesh

You Are Like A Road Marker.

Yes, thanks for the insight. I hate you... Ah

Thanks!

For an erie suggestion.

Love it though.

Facinating enough?

All happy families are alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.


I wish I could've finish reading the book by now. I need a book-buddy.


The point of idiocracy and oddity has risen up drastically over the past few months of my life. Constant deep breaths and crazy eye movements nearly placed me in a frantic mode. Sometimes I don't even know what exactly is travelling 'round my head. Could be a pointless and reckless thoughts, and it could be a briliant one. I'll never passed the juvenile phase without stumbling across my past. Wonder how he, she, they and them have been without me. A day, three weeks or five years will not change the fact that I miss them so much. It was diferent back then. We were kids. There were rules but we were too happy to obey it. Broken nose was something we were proud of and dirty clothes were markers of our days. I remembered when one of us bought a book, we shared and read together on the wet carpeted grass on the playground. Sometimes we took turns to take home and pretend we're reading it in front of our parents. Too bad none of the grown ups were impressed with our shenanigans tactics to earn things.


I could read newspaper 'cleverly' when I was 5 but for some reason, it never interests my mom. First short story when I was 6, painted my first piece of shit when I was 2. These events, though has never caught the attention of my mom, has amazingly impressed my friends. Never in an educational-purpose reflection. I guess, that is why I've never cared about anything. Because due to my mom lack of attention in selling me to the corrupt minds of child-institutions, I appreciate my own works and efforts. I was never a child prodigy in others' eyes, but I knew I was something more than a daughter to her. It's a good thing I never knew about anything. It gives me freedom to fly around with my nonsensical reasoning.


Whatever it is, I still want new books.

DaisyMiller, BrokenApril, TheDeepEndofTheOcean, TheDevilsofLoudun and the list goes on. If I were a criminal, I'll rob a fucking bookstore. As nerdy as it seems, it'll be a cool thing for me. My friends have been teasing me on how I don't have a life since I don't go out of the house. Truth is, those who goes out often are the one without a life. They have to go out and search for something to make it appears as if they live on the purpose of satisfying the outside world.


Alas, I found a reason to dodge others discriminating judgments on me. Not that I care but to minimize the effect is something to be acknowledge.


Guess the anthropologist in me will never let me down.






Ceh ape lar aku tekan that made this thing works shitty.
...........................
Note: The picture is not the book. BeyondRetro punya bende. Tak sangke Dan is into it too, or he was forced to. Who knows.

Sugar

Johnny, I Hardly Knew Ya.

We had to go for the Solidarity 89' today. I am surprised how I did enjoyed siting there even for only a short while. The Polish guy was talking about how Poland managed to get away from the Nazis and the Communists. Hmm, I am sure he knew half of the European population is against their participation in the EU.

Enough about Poland, there was (supposedly) famous local film person. I don't know anyone so it's acceptable for me to say supposedly. When he mentioned things on Warsaw, I remembered a band singing 'Warsaw'. Tapi dah tua so I forgot. Miraculously, thanks to man's invention and my parents, I checked on the net to get the name. Gila semangat. Yeah we know who sang it now. But then the film of my past self emerged from my inner side of the brain. Tak sangka I used to listen to Celtic Punk. Dulu tak tau pun what genres I am listening to (sekarang pun same). But yeah, I'm not that bad. Memang lar zaman-zaman kegelapan tu ada but okay what I start listening to Suede, Pulp, Nirvana and others when I was nine. Bodo-bodo punye band pun ada tapi we learn from mistakes. Haha tak sangka aku pun boleh jadi poyo.

................

While I had received some good news, bad news pun mesti ada. To maintain the cosmic balance kut. If the luck is always with me, I guess more people will travel the world to search for tallest building to mark their inconsolable deaths.

...............

'Bukan dia tak makan chilli sauce ke?'

Couldn't believe more and more people are taking seriously about my hatred towards chilli. Poisonous to the stomach, and self-induced mucous.

Well, I do admit, I always have statements to be made in defence of my ultimate disgust towards things. No one listens to my opinion anyway.

Alang-alang I must say, I don't get why everyone is mad abot that Aggy chick. Looks different? Not at all. Typical Camden girls apa. Until someone can tell me reasons that made her special or cool, I'll give her another glance to check yes again. Models semua sepesen jek. Those who look 'different' are trying to broadened their market, like what a former model told me. 'Jangan buang mase pegi casting lar, you belajar and be the gila you pun dah cukup'. Yup, the casting people told me to lose weight, they are losing their mind slowly so they're forgiven. I hate having my pictures taken anyway. But, but! I want to act in a short film. Why short film? Because I haven't found a cure to my laziness.

Memang betul what he said 'Each and every 7 of us lives on the 7 cardinal sins'.
I live on laziness, would that be considered as sloth?

Why Fret?

Wish I could take those words out of my mouth bulimic-style.

Few things have justify a very important fact, which is 2009 is and hopefully will only be my bad year. I don't feel a recap of shits should be going on again as I am already sick to my tummy.

No Shef for me but hopefully (in god's willing) they can defer my entry to March 2010.
Been waiting for it since I set off my feet from my secondary school.
Memang kene mandi bunga kalau macam ni. (Not that I believe in it anyway)

The thoughts of 3 years of overconfident-stuckup-pastmyage-irritating classmates does not and being the pessimist I am, will never interests me. I know I might possibly change my statement later on but I insist.

Susah lar kalau asyik nak pining for something and someone.
When will it stop hitting my luck.

Our French lecturer said 'Life is short and problems will always be there, so be happy'.
I guess that is why we are a complete different person.
And yes french is strangling my throat slowly as I am making a fool out of myself pronouncing the crazy susah words.
Should have protested on getting the Faculty's permission on taking German.
Cool sikit bile nyanyi Rammstein.
Setakat faham and can immitate lines from french films buat ape.
The level of coolness kurang.
Dahlar kene panggil rempit sebab stesen bodoh mentioned a name that coincidently is similar to mine requesting some shitty song.
Semua salah Yasmin Kejang.

If life is short, then I guess the problem will be too.
Tapi....
Ish, better not start thinking about it.
I want to go and let those freaky people do the past-regression thing on me.
That would made a day for historians all 'round.
A battle often takes place on a large field.
Go figure lar...

Am Alice

She was under days of pleasure.
While the arms around her measure.
Has she been waiting behind the door?
Was this what we have been anticipating for?

Conventional breathes on gazeless window.
She stares at it while counting their shadow.
Fast pace and long thoughts.
Count to ten and you will see her faults.

Stories have been told,
While her memories unfold.
Those cold feet,
Walking down the street
That's Alice

Oh Dear

Re-open for no obvious reason.
This won't last long.
Trust me.
 
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