Rupert Holmes Style

Mother has been expressing her calamity, over the absence of partner in her daughters' life.

Somehow she still fails to inhale the idea I have put forward. To live alone with a nice yard behind my house with a dog, cat, and a goat. The only thing to decorate life besides those wonderful creatures would be the nature surrounding my spirit.

I have always wish to make peace with the spirit(s). The only gateway to relinquish guilt I have gathered in the course of life would be by way of diving into the nature. Serenity blends in with the blood, calming the senses, and slowly sweep the minds off. Having a partner would only embeds even greater despair.

Who claims dying alone is a sad adventure, is a muppet. It is inevitable for all living things to die alone, unless you are exceptionally creative with deaths.

There is constant defeat to my endeavour  in convincing mother that companions are nothing more than life ornaments. Akin to those hanging on the Christmas tree, occasionally settled and soon to be dispose of. To compete with brighter and more attractive kinds. Even if it lasts, it means as little as the thought of celebration.

Since she is convinced that there is no effort channeled, I will seek the other Rupert Holmes style. Though the responses would not entertain me much,since most would come from psychopaths, odd humans, or mental fucks.

From Joey Bartons' twittering, I would like a copy of it without a history behind bars as the mother would be worried of such. Also minus the twitter affliation because birds are the species I despise. Great lad he is, from the birdie viewing point. He should have make sense of Desperate Scousewives from the title itself. A group who engage in any activity with a branding of 'Desperate' speak a volume on the content, or lack of content.

Cheers to declination of humanity.

The Awkward Moment

When you are enduring the pain of watching chubby kids do boxing.

I have nothing against the more developed children, but when you start giving me the 'I know I am better than you' face, then bless the cakes as I have acquired all the rights to entertain myself by producing honest chuckles on your performance. But really, not only they are both shit at it, all the juggling is a bit distracting.

To stand by Jimmy Carr's statement to a chubby girl when she, in rage, informs him that he should not have use the advantage of the fat jokes as it is insensitive to commit to such act. He bloody brilliantly respond to her that it is she that should not have the cake for breakfast, since her reaction on his jokes would be otherwise had she refused the temptation.

A fatist is I am not. If I happen to have been living as such, I would not have this ability to embrace them chubbs.

Not of my concern on how you live your life, but please stop throwing me reasons to snipe you with remarks.

So a fact for you Chubbstard (Chubby Bastard) 8 out of 10 Annoying Chubbies showcase their talent on Jeremy Kyle Show.

Perhaps one day you will be superficially superior than I am, but you will still be the annoying Chubbs, like Kelly Osbourne.

And Fate Triumphs

over any precise documentation of facts that would describe otherwise.

I am under a very strong belief that life is a path for fate to work its magic, or a horrifying spell that is not supposed to be cast on living things.

There is not much out in the cold, for me to hold on to. Other than my inclination towards the existence of God. Hence, the justification on the level of dependence upon fate.

If it is not of fate, none of these would have come out. If it is not fate, I would have become something even more stupid.

Fate places hindrances, though it redeem its' credibility by propelling to a greater ground.

I may have miss out on familial activities or experiences, to give up a place in the University of my choice, to let go of the fields I have long to breathe in, to have bad luck develops a strange affinity with me, to have lost and been lost, and to have the clouds taking me in.

There are numerous disappointments and melancholic events in my days because of fate, but it must not be neglected that those have been indemnified with heaps of memories, the good ones.

The friends, the lands I have step on, the encounters, and more of that my ungrateful self could remember.

The fact is, no matter how awful life is at this very moment, I know fate is a great mechanism for the one I believe in, to put it all together - slowly.

I am writing all of these words as there is (are) people out there who sees beyond the letters. I am dreaming of the goods and bads because there is a need to remind myself. I am careful in my actions for thoughts to be constantly generated, since that is the only fuel for me. I am living as this awkward-unlucky-undermined-perceived as odd-deep lost in imaginations-smiling-happy to be content twenty year old girl - with those unexpected floating in the air.

and today, fate makes me colours my nails with the colour of my team and the team we are going against - without any thoughts spared on the act. The same as last fixture, where I had unconsciously grab the team short to have it on, prior to the team kicking the ball. (Not to be a direction in common days)

At times I experience things that would be remarkable as it is based purely on coincidence. Though as it occurs, the only coincidence is the fact that it keeps on playing.

Fate would bring me to a light. Not the one in Ghost Whisperer, but the one that grabs you in the lighting section in IKEA.

If you believe in something intangible, a tangible outcome would present itself. So the creepy old people tells me.

Walking In

Sleepless nights in the city bring nothing more than an occasional card playing out in the cold. Where the air mostly works to your disadvantage.

This whole week has not been particularly fantastic for me.

Car trouble-laptop trouble-allergic reaction effected the eye-minor food poisoning-allergic reaction effected the body-horrible people destroying the house who happens to have some sort of relation with my family

The two hours of having weird China man staring at me would have made the list, but as weird people are in abundance, it is rather wimpy to include it.

Being in the city makes it even more difficult. Since you know you could have made the days better, instead, you just let it sleep around your head.

Clubbing is a pointless activity, having drinks outside is a waste of money, and I am too lazy to contact the mates for games (and the bill is yet to be paid).

This is the time where I wish a miraculous energy transports me to the pier with the bunch eating chippy, or the two days beautifully spent in Death Valley, however ironic that seems when placed together.

Though the one high up do have a slight sympathy on me, as He show me stars glimmering in the sky, when it is impossible to witness such in a polluted city.

Somehow I find the night to tame my disappointment(s).

Heart Under Attack

and another life been taken away. Though technically he passed for the condition of heart disease, it was his heart under attack that took him away.

He and the missus have been at a stage where no sight of one another would be bearable, for many years. To survive they live on their own, without any document to certain their separation. An unfortunate event began a couple months back, where the lady packed her life, with the kids, and left him on his own. To fend for his heart, both for the disease and the hole gaping inside. I'm not sure what had transpired him to give up on life, as he distant himself from the meds his body desperately needs to push for another day.

With an absence of love, family, and the pills that pump, the soul left his body. Leaving the remnants, so familiar to the ones who had known him.

If he had died from the disease, without any of the events in place, I know we all would feel better. It's almost as if he had taken his own life, and I can't bare the memory of such after my own aunt took hers a day before I turned 15.

I could only hope that the Higher above looked after him, the way he did with us.

May you rest in peace and find a place where you could mend your heart.

With this, it's almost impossible for Christmas to be looked forward to, or event celebrated.

Fuck You

I am drawn by your absence
to have the winds beating me down
But with all the travelling words
and long elegance smiles
drifting away

As I am drawn closer to you
from your absence




If you could see all the fucks I could have given, you'd probably realized the monster people were telling, is you. But yeah, fuck you, you undignified bastard who happens to paint very well. Fuck. You. And no one likes the silly rap shit/gesture, bastard.

I know for all the cusses I have uttered throughout my life, this wouldn't be taken seriously. So fuck you from the bottom of my heart, bastard.

Smoke this glass and let the shiver takes you apart
Ripping the skin along our shoulders


I'd call on the ghosts to retain my sanity. As they're the only avenue. For me to reach into the deep.

My head is calling on all things. My head would be on its' feet. My head is doing me in.

and the tarot reading didn't say anything about a person cutting smile on his/her face upon reading the (Google told me, no lies). I wish I would believe I could have those as the ultimate Christmas present. Though my senses know better, sweet things don't land on hands like flies poop. They hover around you and let you rot along with horrible face. I hope the person who wins it dreams of me, so that the person would know what it would mean for me, to have it for this Christmas - as there is nothing left here for me on Christmas.

I will keep you in sane to have you reminded of this loose tongue
Let the feelings run wild as I have kept them sealed






Dear boy, no man should retain the right to proclaim his love for Beyonce, as an artist and on her performance. If ever the luck finally chooses to be shimmering around me.....

A Round of Laughter

Biggest Irony

The funny bits lie in the comment section, with a heap of United fans trying to comfort the man by spouting shits. Or it could be the man itself. 


"I can't stand Liverpool, I can't stand the people, I can't stand anything to do with them."


My advice mate, shoot yerself in the head because I can't stand you having anything to do with football, not because of the United connection, it's just because you are terrible playing it and talking about it. 


His reaction says a lot about him, being a prick and un-sporting lad. Once a Manc always a twat. Just look at the Scouser rolling around in United. 


Like a wise Irish man once told me 'ABU - anything but United'. And that comes from a man who's not a football fan.


I am LFC through and through, but that doesn't permit me to hate on Manchester and its' people. My good friend and family friends are from Manchester, and they're lovely.

To You

There is no claim of having best friends. There is even no such belief.

At times I could feel the whispers, urgently pushing me to remind myself of a friend. I will never call you or anyone for that matter the best friend, since I hold no interest in running that business. Though, you are one of the friends that even if we no longer align ourselves with the point, it will still be within my memory. Constantly playing by itself.

It is quite odd how we come about as friends. The wrath of our parents joining from the holiday trip with the school - the one we did (can) not involved ourselves with. I did not remember if we were in relation, other than classmate, before such event. As I was the one with the obligation to not go against the current.

With our own holiday trips - the awful shore excursion where you were left with my burned skin, the encounter(s) with the terrible person that I am (taking the phone to answer when it is the alarm ringing loud), and other stupidities we shared.

We have become more than companions, we are more likely to be family. It is my greatest regret, however, for my absence beside you when your father left us. The day haunts me until today, breaking the shield I have always keep in front of me. I could never bring forgiveness upon myself, for the failure to not see him for the last time. I do not wish to talk about this with you and I hope it will remain to be that way. Unless you are ready to hand me an awesome pet owl or liger, since I am already getting a pet goat.

You are probably one of the rare, that continues to tell me that one day I will become the person I wanted to be, that my works have always been well, and I could attain those things I have long for. No one really believes in me like you do, besides the mother and the boy who is lost. No one really clings on my thoughts and random associations with things. I could get you a cake for this, but I am still in debt with ze mother.

I would never call you my best, but you are one of the monkeys I have had the pleasure of being with. The small girl who understands the spicy food gesture, the hatred for all things, and the infatuations I have developed over the years. I would probably have to murder you if we ever go on as enemies.

So there for you my innocent mate, may you end up marrying Drogba, just so I could see how you would look like next to an extremely tall lad.


To think of it, we have been in the same place as England's youngsters before, wonder if we had seen one the boys.

And if you ever leave me sappy shitty messages again, I will hate you, forever. Sappy messages are for pansies, and we are are not a part of that community. And if you ever talk to me about this written words, I will hate you, forever, too. People do not talk about nice things the other said or wrote of the other, people talk about animals and the beautiful entities surrounding life. Like the one with number on my birth date, and his other number has one of the number in my birth date as well. :) If you have no idea who he is, I will hate you, forever, like how I would hate you if you do any of those things.

Liking this threatening relationship we have got going on here.

Bad Beer

Why aren't you coming home when it's sunny outside....


Most would succumb to beer or any alcohol upon the meeting of a bad day, but when you don't wish to associate your body with a high level of alcohol, you're left with a bad beer, the one that won't kill your organs vapidly. The one that contains 0.000001 per cent of alcohol. The one that makes you look like a sad git in a pub. Cheers to healthy body.

A hotel incurs a minor injury on the part of me that would certain my gender, a shitty public toilet shooting water at me due to terrible maintenance of the pipes - leaving me soaking wet and shivering from the cold air, in public, and a shoe store acknowledging my quite large feet - disappointment surrounds as I left without the sweet shoe been eyeing for.

To rub salt to the wound, the relative's wedding I couldn't give a shit of, is on the verge of cancellation.

Thought after a bad day, someone would tell me I have won a huge prize money, or a zoo or an animal  is being named after myself.

For the first time in my life, the rain fails to bring joy.

Modern Warfare 3

Since I won't be having a proper Christmas this year, could someone please get this for me now.

and a new sweet bass guitar.




I should really be studying, not playing with Sharpies.

and the Liver Bird is not really meant for environmental purposes, I just don't have a red Sharpie, and tying it with nature seems like a viable excuse.

I believe I was a 6 years old kid in the former life. It was probably a he because I spent most of my time laughing at things and video games, and ice cream for breakfast. It is suspected that he died of maximum enjoyment, presumably of sugar high. The content got to his brain and exploded, leaving the remnants of joy and hyper ism to be carried on by his successor, and that would be me.

and some footballers' last name is Cattermole, doesn't help me much since I haven't covered that damn subject.
The sight of light
triples the breaths
catching on the indefinite

I could gaze into the stream
and swim with the lost
as where we could reach
is steadily awaiting

and I linger for more
following the birth of the sun
to get past the superiors
to grasp hold of the healers

for we should have foresee
the depth of the picture


....................................................

If you happen to release you ability to find me, listen carefully.

Don't Follow No Crowds



The jacket is mint.

I'd probably say something like that if I am some sort of weird hip-hop lingual child. But in all honesty, the jacket is a nice jacket.

Don't know much about hip-hop except that I hate most of it. A boy who was probably trying to woo me with his 'achievement' - in beating Lady Sovereign in an unknown battle. Hence making him superior than the person who no one really gives a fuck about. Or the bastard who chew on his lips with 'yew no maaaan' shit. Those are the only first hand experiences I have with hip-hop flares.

Guess I am not meant for such world, and because of that I can't live under the pretense as that would make me a chav, bling bling!

My faith in humanity continues to descend.

Shankly's Regret

“If you can’t support us when we lose or draw, don’t support us when we win.” -Bill Shankly


What does it mean when a person who assumes the title of a professional footballer with a minimum of 10 thousand quid per week in his exploding account, can't fucking play football. What does it mean when the whole entity of professional footballers appear to be the same.


Soon I would realize what a terrible mistake to have participated in the cultural phenomena of football. They are certainly no better than those thick-headed CEOs or bankers who cannot seem to do things rights, with all the cashing in on them.


Until then,


If Shankly would still be alive, he would be devastated to have procure such statement prematurely. The least footballers give a shit about is when an aficionado of anything but football takes over the world and demolishes every aspect that would entail footballing character, which consequently resulting the players to be working in Tesco. Anything other than that, I doubt they give even a slight consideration. 


Next time if LFC wins, I should not really give a shit because essentially that is what they are supposed to do. I do not cheer when a bin man carefully and successfully collected the rubbish so why different treatment for a group who cannot even do it right.


Contemplation is within reach but until then, LFC apparently still cling by my heart and passion. 






Wasted my time being angry and in despair when I could have covered the whole chapter for the tests ahead. Would even the worst player in LFC be grieving if I do my tests horribly, since I have invested my time and feelings and ego watching them being utter tools, and a small amount of money but still money. If you are the worst player in LFC and happens to read shits by shitters, then you are invited to propose a reply. 

Liverpool Simpsons/Simpsons Liverpool


Wonder how a Manchester United fan who happens to enjoy The Simpsons feels upon the discovery of this gold.

It's quite frustrating that I'm with a disability to identify them all. Guess am all fair in life. Can't even recognize the people I see everyday so why should footballers get a complete different treatment.

I'm praying hard to God that SAF is the biggest The Simpsons fan. That'll teach him for being hypocritical and just plain awful to anything outside Old Trafford.

Something completely out of the context, can't believe Amy Childs just a year older than I am. She could pass as my demented aunt at any given time. Can't believe I spent half of an hour watching TOWIE. Can't believe there's such this as Vajazzle. Can't believe I once wanted a nice cottage in Essex. Can't believe shits haven't stop rolling around us.
 
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