B

Far beyond belief I'd scour
to fold your fingers in.
Man's loyalties I'd keep.
for them to run free.

Though sunshine,
I'm always dreaming.
of foreseen pictures and Roman speech.

But for the longing skies.

Must I ever forgive
the grief inside of me.
Must I ever forget
the one in me.

I'd dream an endless dream.
and I'll keep it in me.

Torres

People are clogging up football forums since the news comes about.

Truth is, I would rather see a player leaves a club then playing with folded arse. It would be a huge blow if he does jump to Chelsea, considering the whole 'moral' story he made when he just joined Liverpool.

I couldn't see myself going mental on this as we have all accepted the fact that football no longer centres upon the sport itself. Money lingers all over and it does catches the players minds.

This news only brings about my disappointment towards him as a person due to the statement he made, not because he's thinking of going to a shit club. Meh, I can see him shitting on himself if he ever follows his ego, just like Owen, Alonso, etc.

Hence, he should listen to this four years old, or just recall his former self, or have the fans beat him up to get him to his senses.

A

I guess you weren't as ghostly as I thought you'd be.
Because I haven't seen your eyes wandering around.
Or perhaps it was just the mist.
Clogging my intercepting mind.

I guess you weren't as close as you seem to be.
For minutes and years,
Your breaths were calculating its' speed.
Mocking my sanity.

Maybe I was deceived by the linen skies.
To believe everything inside my mind.

Pit

Let's not talk about someone else.

Siddhartha

" Dreams and restless thoughts came flowing to him from the river, from the twinkling stars at night, from the sun's melting rays...... He had begun to fell that the love of his father and mother, and also the love of his friend, would not always make him happy, give him pease, satisfy and suffice him........ the vessel was not full, his intellect was not satisfied, his soul was not at peace, his heart was not still. "
: Siddhartha

After much infusion of my thoughts and eyes on Siddhatha, I realized how it is pertinent and relevant to our lives. Maybe to a fraction of humanity.

People often seed the idea in us, that love is the only thing that matter. For worse, for poorer, in sickness, so long love stands by us, nothing could ingest our beings. It is undeniably the most ludicrous idea as the minute we are on our feet, there is a passage illuminating our project in life. Our own ideology and our mission.

Some lives to be rich while others live to go mental. No one really live just to have love.

Love has no correlation to the constant thirst that pulls us away from the path. Love plays no part in the sacrificial bath. Love could never be the reason we keep on chasing after the unknown.

Perhaps, love is everything, and I am just in denial as I am the rat in the trench.

1111

Knowing you was a chant of desire. To fall for your plastic charm. And calculated eloquence. Severe excavation on the lines. As you painted me a false pretense. To swallow your very tounge.

I had walked in your shelves. Before I could be you. I must free my soul. My one true joy. The real solid rope holding me.

I must be in your transient form. For the crowd of hope.

Deceptions and mind activation.

Should I ever see your reflection. I shall curse and bury it.

You were the air chasing me away. You were the praise of mass pretenders. You were the love for every fortune.

But you were never real. And never could be.

Blue Turbulence

San Jose - San Fran - Mountain View/Gilroy - Napa - Death Valley - Vegas

There were expulsion of joy during the first few days in California. No familiar faces around to captivate my attention.

Though graduation of a friend was the moment of awe. It inspired me when a fellow course mate gave a speech on how those Ivy League knobs were belittling those of State, and somehow ended up with no offers for their service.

Money does get you somewhere, but it never takes you any further.

Christmas was a bitter sweet time as Jenny the Dog was on the brink of losing its' life.

However, with families and terrific golden ladies around, eyes clouded by raining skies did not seem to take the smile of everyone's faces. Only occasionally, when Jenny started to mope around.

We then drove to Death Valley, home to no living creatures, or as we were told there is none. We passed through the garlic farm. It did not bothered me as much as it did to the others. The stench was overpowered by the stunning wave line along the way. Hence, the grueling nine hours to the Valley. Fantastic backdrop to a place where few friendly and well mannered community live. The night sky was drenched in white sparkling spots. Leaving you with imagination to run wild. I could not imagine the serenity of the mind by living there.

Golden Canyon, Natural Bridge, Badwater and few hiking spots that we managed to reach. We could have wipe the whole area if Vegas was not calling.

I must say, it does look better on the telly, considering how awful the Downtown was. Perhaps we were there at the wrong time, nonetheless, it could never pull me back again. We stayed in The Venetian where monies were spent on Blackjack machine. No luck in attending a big shopping spree. We did warm ourselves up in few shows, one being in Harrah's (or another place) where there was two kid on piano covering old songs with the patrons giving them money to do shit myself and a friend could not grasp. It was entertaining though, and by kid I mean kids in their 20s.

It is a shame I could not stay any longer. I do not wish to live in America, since they do not have any Tesco or M&S. I live by Tesco and no country shall cast a spell on me. Ten years from now, I might live in America and have my friends cover me with shame for my words. Might, there is the possibility since life is that cruel to our words. Or the other way around.

I still love New York better than California, with exception on the Camden-esque street of Haight Ashbury. It triumphs over Camden due to the original excitement and people. Dreadlocks mothers with adorable child and fitties with deck in hand. I was in heaven for a brief period, until the pot came out knocking.

I shall save up some money so I could stay with the aunt every holiday break so I could troll around with Toby and sour Eby.

Till then, many books for me to pretend reading.

We were fated to pretend.