What's Your Feelings?

You're incomplete, I'm indifferent.

My lack of needs feed your attention.

Fill the gaps, attach our beings.

Let's not pretend, what's your feelings?

It's flattering how we could exhibit our emotions and feelings in all sorts of situation. Theoratically, humans are capable of enticing others in participating in the emotions fest. Though, I find it hard to believe most scientists. Half of the time, I find their works to be a solution to an excuse they have been trying to address in problems. Like OCD for people who can't stand grubby and dirty things or ADHD for kids who (unfortunately) slower than others. People works and thinks differently. It would be sad if we all think alike. Which is why sometimes I'm glad I don't really know people who compose words and thoughts like I do; not to give me pleasures in believing I am special. Don't want to be since special people are probably not even a human. Special is not a word I am looking for in fulfilling my life. The word 'special' appeals to obsessive and out of normality situation. Like special subject, referring to Aliens (which probably a joke). Lets not get into that shall we, won't ends peacefully.

Half (all) of the people who knows me, lamentably, knows nothing about me. For instance, my whole life has always evolve around sports and arts stuff which they were not aware of it. I grew up with boys who (obviously) take interest in sports. Since I was 6, on weekends, we would go to parks for frisbee, badminton and occasional football kick off. I joined the school track team when I got into the first grade and stayed till the 6th. Withal, the sportmanship in me did not stay long as I ditch the active side of me when I got into secondary school. By that time, I started to channel in my art side. Oblivious I was considering the fact that my mother never shared stories with me. She was in plays, dance recital and acted for University's club at some point. She, however was never interested in literature, musics and paintings. Nonetheless, I failed to disclose this traits at the early stage of my life, which on the other hand pleased me since I got to be the kid that I was. A (partially) wise man told me, 'Don't enjoy life in ways where you have to surrender to others publications of entertainment, thoughts and lifestyle'. I never really knew what he meant but my interpretation is to not study to much, party too much and bow down to musicians too much. Too much of everything can be lethal, and that could be validated by people who studies too much.

Mock me all you want, I'll never be as intelligent, as eloquent and as modern as you are, debarring the fact that you will never be as content as I am when living in a stage where others standard opinions are barred from entering others head, which does not make any sense at all but lets give way to me in not making any sense. I am happy to not know some dead guys opinions on the meaning of my hair colour or shits like that. I should make up stuff on that before uncovering their clarification on that particular matters. despite the fact that it will requires me to think logically (as in normally) often and how that would saddens me.

To me my 3rd position in the second last class is better than the 1st place of your first class morons. I think outside the pages and you people didn't. I don't want to be super smart anyway, since I never liked Einsteins' hairdo. Even he exclaim his thoughts are not based upon his intelligence but it is based on his curiosity. Howbeit (I felt like using this word since everyone I know loved using albeit, don't discriminate their relatives), by no means I am interested in Einstein because he seems odd to me. Way odd that I am capable in accepting it.

So, at this point, I can say I am happy no one really knows what exactly am I build upon. That would give them leverage in teasing me or taking an advantage upon me. Being the pessimist I am, I rather feel 'alone' than having 79 entities trailing my every pursuit.

.........................................

I need to stop shitting endlessly to the point an entry would be long since I know how much you hate it. Well, I don't write for you, not for anybody unless you or anyone else could accept the fact that the sending of the song 'Daniel' was not to charm you but it was meant to scare the fuck out of you. Despit your statement on how I should reduce my sense of excreting every sarcastic words I'm competant in spitting out, I can't. It might turn me into the next Jack Dee or Jimmy for that matter. So, pardon me for characterizing my bad qualities. If Kasabian actually calls for Banshie in their song, so can I, in no way relating to Banshie though.

Oh, I now realize, I am extensively productive in writing during minuit. (Haha)