You Dear

"I regret to inform you that in a very competitive field your
scholarship application has been unsuccessful."




I wonder if they mean it as they compose these very harsh statement. Considering their regret, I can, with fair composure, conclude such genuine trait may not establish their intention.


Ironically, I had planned to write this on Tuesday, the day I assumed to be the break. However, my heart was heavy as I thought about the manner to which my reaction to either positive or negative (now we know it's negative) email should follow. Subsequently allowing myself to log into my email account, which is irrelevant on normal occasion (since I only open my emails once in a day, and I had done it earlier).

You can call it god's way of manifesting His words in my mind, I'll call it a weird coincidence. Mother saw my reaction and screamed at me. Oblivious to the motive behind my application, she continued to demise me. Churned my strength and spat it out. It would be easy if I just told her I do all this to emulate her but swallowing the high pitch noise is much easier at this point.

I just hope she will one day, erase her reasoning behind my action and allow me to do things secretly. Just so I could enjoy or drain my tears at my own comfort.