Surely that seems easy for everyone who has a trouble against Liverpool Football Club to accept.
I personally haven't read the whole report since actual exam is more important than a football club. Coming from a supporter of the club, it would be seen as a biased reaction towards the situation. However, it's not on the situation that I am expressing my concern with, it's the general public lambasting a person solely from a statement of another and poor judgement, evidently.
Stop parading these politically correct fronts. It's hypocritical of the commentors to debase Luis Suarez from an unfortunate event. Don't tell me you've never slay someone off using what would be a racist remark when say, the person cuts you off the road like a bastard and he/she happens to be of a different origin. I've heard many 'Stupid White/Chinese/Indian/Black-African ...' and other form of such statement. I don't find myself climbing up a moral high ground and concluding these people to be racist idiots.
Actions speak louder than words. If you can't grasp the idea then you shouldn't speak on behalf of people who can actually utilise their brains.
I don't think John Terry is a racist even with the direct evidence showing him murmuring such word. Unless he had refused any contact with Ferdinand then yes, he'll be a racist. But I hope he will be receiving the same or greater punishment as Suarez's because of an actual evidence in hand.
By the way dear FA, didn't Evra admitted in producing words of similar sensitivity, why isn't he being given the same treatment.
Lets just hope this mania would eat Evra and his alliance when The Racist get back on the pitch for the clash. That's the only justice I could think of. But if LFC lost, it wouldn't mean that Suarez is a racist or guilty.
I enter 2012
without a Grandfather.
The news came while we were having breakfast. Shock as anyone could've imagined. Mother literally went mad - crying, wailing and screaming at the face of any. With the deliverance of the bad news, all plans for celebrations turned into a funeral procession.
Throughout the day I kept on reminding myself there's a slight possibility the family did a mistake and he hasn't died.
His face was all I could remember. Kissing him for one last time, and seeing the look before he would be sent away. Without any illness or health complications, he shut his eyes and opened a different chapter in our lives.
It was only after we had completed his death, stories came about. A month before the 31st December, after my brother married his wife, Grandpa went over to him, telling him with his marriage he can now die with his eyes close tight. Ten days before his leaving, he told my cousin that in 10 days time he'll be gone. None of these would've made sense to minds as he had always been the joker.
Truth is, I still hasn't come to terms to his death, as I dreamt of him coming home, telling us all it was a mistake and he was only in deep sleep. I don't know the ways to get this into my head. I failed to fulfil my intention in having him next to me in Anfield, watching the boys do us proud. I can no longer have tea with him, the last thing he promised to have with me, a month before he went away.
I didn't do the things I promised myself and him, and I am unable to perform it now. There is a part of me praying this would all be a dream.
He passed as a good man, few hours after the team we both supported take home the win.
Apart from the regret, I get to care for him when he fell ill, and see him for the last time - when we nearly missed the goodbye as I was with friends.
Grandpa, I hope we'll see each other in the next life and you will still love me as how I do now. I miss you..
The news came while we were having breakfast. Shock as anyone could've imagined. Mother literally went mad - crying, wailing and screaming at the face of any. With the deliverance of the bad news, all plans for celebrations turned into a funeral procession.
Throughout the day I kept on reminding myself there's a slight possibility the family did a mistake and he hasn't died.
His face was all I could remember. Kissing him for one last time, and seeing the look before he would be sent away. Without any illness or health complications, he shut his eyes and opened a different chapter in our lives.
It was only after we had completed his death, stories came about. A month before the 31st December, after my brother married his wife, Grandpa went over to him, telling him with his marriage he can now die with his eyes close tight. Ten days before his leaving, he told my cousin that in 10 days time he'll be gone. None of these would've made sense to minds as he had always been the joker.
Truth is, I still hasn't come to terms to his death, as I dreamt of him coming home, telling us all it was a mistake and he was only in deep sleep. I don't know the ways to get this into my head. I failed to fulfil my intention in having him next to me in Anfield, watching the boys do us proud. I can no longer have tea with him, the last thing he promised to have with me, a month before he went away.
I didn't do the things I promised myself and him, and I am unable to perform it now. There is a part of me praying this would all be a dream.
He passed as a good man, few hours after the team we both supported take home the win.
Apart from the regret, I get to care for him when he fell ill, and see him for the last time - when we nearly missed the goodbye as I was with friends.
Grandpa, I hope we'll see each other in the next life and you will still love me as how I do now. I miss you..
You know me from no reason
And she dances with her skin. Bearing the earth breaths. Dancing to disappear. Chase the lights away. Fall addicted to the silence. And he watches her move her soul. Gazing upon the grace under the lighted darkness. Carefully whispering the lines. 'And I feel you'. Pushing her feet to the ground. 'How can you feel when I move. When every elevation is of reasons. How can you feel when you know of no reasons'.
Mother is a dancer. Faithfully affecting her body to a story. A beautiful rhythm where people enjoy in the dark.
I rarely dance. Especially in front of people. As I have no story to tell. No rhythm to sway you close to me.
I long to move. With the air and the trees. Serenading me to peace.
Once you see me dance with my skin, then it is of my expectation, to have you see me through.
Mother is a dancer. Faithfully affecting her body to a story. A beautiful rhythm where people enjoy in the dark.
I rarely dance. Especially in front of people. As I have no story to tell. No rhythm to sway you close to me.
I long to move. With the air and the trees. Serenading me to peace.
Once you see me dance with my skin, then it is of my expectation, to have you see me through.
Nature Child
"You are free spirited as you remember what it is like being a child. The problem is, you don't seem too interested in the life we are all in. Find a flower or a path, as that would guide you further."
The trouble in knowing weird people.... They shouldn't have asked me to search for a flower, since they SHOULD know I am allergic to those.
Mother should have never involved herself with clairvoyants, psychics, card readers, or whatever they wish to be called. None of them has actually produced words I want to hear. One have mentioned 'You will only be happy when you reached the later age', and another one 'You don't seem to be in sync with the world. Perhaps someone could pull you in'.
Growing up it is usual for the family, friends or strangers to perceive me as weird, eccentric, alien-like creature. Some even told me that they would not be surprised if it is exposed that I am an alien. One old man believed that I am the child of the nature. Who separate self from the build ups and the known. Again, whatever that may inspire, wouldn't attract me that much.
I love nature, animal, rocks, and I even intended to study leaves once - until I realized no one is interested in joining. As a child I had proclaimed my love for the wild nature, writing 'I love Tarzan' on the wall of my bedroom, and writing letters to my mother asking her to accept a monkey as my brother. It all seemed natural to me, even the family grow to come to such terms.
If I am left with a choice, I would have abandon this life and retreat to the wild. A nice tree house or a cosy cave to call home. Not too worried on food, since if my life is to be put to a halt, my body would be an offering to the earth, to take me back they way it has created me.
Oh and nobody would tell me to brush my hair or shave.
Dreams and wishes are free, but it would be immense if I have the currency to make it real.
And I hate hippies, because they don't save themselves for the earth - bunch of pretentious grouping who are actually quite interesting, but fail to serve the purpose.
The trouble in knowing weird people.... They shouldn't have asked me to search for a flower, since they SHOULD know I am allergic to those.
Mother should have never involved herself with clairvoyants, psychics, card readers, or whatever they wish to be called. None of them has actually produced words I want to hear. One have mentioned 'You will only be happy when you reached the later age', and another one 'You don't seem to be in sync with the world. Perhaps someone could pull you in'.
Growing up it is usual for the family, friends or strangers to perceive me as weird, eccentric, alien-like creature. Some even told me that they would not be surprised if it is exposed that I am an alien. One old man believed that I am the child of the nature. Who separate self from the build ups and the known. Again, whatever that may inspire, wouldn't attract me that much.
I love nature, animal, rocks, and I even intended to study leaves once - until I realized no one is interested in joining. As a child I had proclaimed my love for the wild nature, writing 'I love Tarzan' on the wall of my bedroom, and writing letters to my mother asking her to accept a monkey as my brother. It all seemed natural to me, even the family grow to come to such terms.
If I am left with a choice, I would have abandon this life and retreat to the wild. A nice tree house or a cosy cave to call home. Not too worried on food, since if my life is to be put to a halt, my body would be an offering to the earth, to take me back they way it has created me.
Oh and nobody would tell me to brush my hair or shave.
Dreams and wishes are free, but it would be immense if I have the currency to make it real.
And I hate hippies, because they don't save themselves for the earth - bunch of pretentious grouping who are actually quite interesting, but fail to serve the purpose.
Happy Christmas Donkeys
Past:
- Late night poker coupled with drunken carolling
- Gathering around the lighted tree discussing WWII
- Running around a hotel with a bucket full of ice, with a nice White Elephant the next day.
- Picnic at the park, witnessing a mental man with an imaginary dog.
- Dousing in Glogg and Julmust with your voice on the line.
- Freezing party on a frozen lake in one country, and Champagne party in another, on the same year.
Current:
- Shit movies with nostalgic run down on the past.
Future:
- Tenerife, with the lads, laughs, and foodies.
- Late night poker coupled with drunken carolling
- Gathering around the lighted tree discussing WWII
- Running around a hotel with a bucket full of ice, with a nice White Elephant the next day.
- Picnic at the park, witnessing a mental man with an imaginary dog.
- Dousing in Glogg and Julmust with your voice on the line.
- Freezing party on a frozen lake in one country, and Champagne party in another, on the same year.
Current:
- Shit movies with nostalgic run down on the past.
Future:
- Tenerife, with the lads, laughs, and foodies.
Living is personal
'Why do people seems to hold on to the decision to shit on us?"
For New Year, I will adopt a different approach to life. Instead of worrying about the non-existence duty to please others, the only thing to occupy my mind would be on myself and my mother.
I have my studies, my health, and my future to guard - in addition of the bad events that have befall on my mother. With her alarming health problem, horrible people intensely waging grudges against her, and the unfortunate financial crisis with credits to the super efficient government.
It is within thoughts that during this time, people around me would gather strength and channel it in, to hold me together when it is all falling apart. The opposite impression is the only support they decided to give. A part of me is in bliss to have distant my soul from others, having the chance to be with my mother for a whole week. No regret is spared for neglecting the pictures of laughters, as those are temporary.
The exact fact that no one can or wants to displace the unwanted news that is slowly reaching us on the 29th makes it definite.
I will be fine with the looks on me, spitting the nauseating words that do not even compute in rational minds. I will be fine with your(s) treatments that stem from imbecile minds. I will be fine with your(s) absence as you (s) serve me no purpose. I will be fine to leave you behind, just like how you left me when the struggles pull me in.
There will be no hesitation, to not see you bastard as friends.
If is it difficult to appreciate my feelings, then you should probably stop lingering, because I have keep all the fucks in my pocket and there is intention in handing them out just yet.
To the idiot hag that spread silly stories on how my mother faked her health problems to get out of work, my mother was bed-ridden for two months with me having to come from school every fucking day to care for her, and now there is a strong possibility that it will occur, again. So my wish for you that you will experience worse and suffer, because none of your children is civilised and actually care for you. Good luck going through that because a scum like you deserves nothing. And you are ugly and so are your daughters.
To the 'friends', I can only hope one day you will get your entitlement. Anyone with an audacity to say such about a person, would only belong in hell or a really bad place if you do not believe in those.
And to everyone else who has been rather impressive in writing me off, thank you for drawing me closer to my senses.
I have dispose friends before, so do not think you people are worthy for me to keep. To those who will never be close to me, pray that on the 29th, good news are for myself and mother to embrace. And God, I am inadequate to walk under these clouds.
and Hanna, thank you for stealing my idea of having that tattoo on the back of the neck. You little scoundrel.
For New Year, I will adopt a different approach to life. Instead of worrying about the non-existence duty to please others, the only thing to occupy my mind would be on myself and my mother.
I have my studies, my health, and my future to guard - in addition of the bad events that have befall on my mother. With her alarming health problem, horrible people intensely waging grudges against her, and the unfortunate financial crisis with credits to the super efficient government.
It is within thoughts that during this time, people around me would gather strength and channel it in, to hold me together when it is all falling apart. The opposite impression is the only support they decided to give. A part of me is in bliss to have distant my soul from others, having the chance to be with my mother for a whole week. No regret is spared for neglecting the pictures of laughters, as those are temporary.
The exact fact that no one can or wants to displace the unwanted news that is slowly reaching us on the 29th makes it definite.
I will be fine with the looks on me, spitting the nauseating words that do not even compute in rational minds. I will be fine with your(s) treatments that stem from imbecile minds. I will be fine with your(s) absence as you (s) serve me no purpose. I will be fine to leave you behind, just like how you left me when the struggles pull me in.
There will be no hesitation, to not see you bastard as friends.
If is it difficult to appreciate my feelings, then you should probably stop lingering, because I have keep all the fucks in my pocket and there is intention in handing them out just yet.
To the idiot hag that spread silly stories on how my mother faked her health problems to get out of work, my mother was bed-ridden for two months with me having to come from school every fucking day to care for her, and now there is a strong possibility that it will occur, again. So my wish for you that you will experience worse and suffer, because none of your children is civilised and actually care for you. Good luck going through that because a scum like you deserves nothing. And you are ugly and so are your daughters.
To the 'friends', I can only hope one day you will get your entitlement. Anyone with an audacity to say such about a person, would only belong in hell or a really bad place if you do not believe in those.
And to everyone else who has been rather impressive in writing me off, thank you for drawing me closer to my senses.
I have dispose friends before, so do not think you people are worthy for me to keep. To those who will never be close to me, pray that on the 29th, good news are for myself and mother to embrace. And God, I am inadequate to walk under these clouds.
and Hanna, thank you for stealing my idea of having that tattoo on the back of the neck. You little scoundrel.
Like Every Other Fuck You's
It seems ridiculous how we are struggling to balance off on the sinking boat. It seems ridiculous how you don't seem to get the plea.
I know for a fact that if I had accepted the invitation and pursue the urge to spend the night away with you, we would have been in a different set of life. Regret is circling my head. Regret is injecting itself on me.
I cannot spare a moment to beg you to go away, as we have known each other for so long. Though it is a pleasant option for you leave me and never look back. We may have found something inside but it is tailored for a different occasion. I will make you leave, because that is the only way I could find peace. The memories is ours to keep, but I must refuse an extension of such collection.
If this happen to be within your normal experience, please forgive me for driving you away. The horrifying days where you call for me, and displace me. Can no longer linger around this shit,
I know for a fact that if I had accepted the invitation and pursue the urge to spend the night away with you, we would have been in a different set of life. Regret is circling my head. Regret is injecting itself on me.
I cannot spare a moment to beg you to go away, as we have known each other for so long. Though it is a pleasant option for you leave me and never look back. We may have found something inside but it is tailored for a different occasion. I will make you leave, because that is the only way I could find peace. The memories is ours to keep, but I must refuse an extension of such collection.
If this happen to be within your normal experience, please forgive me for driving you away. The horrifying days where you call for me, and displace me. Can no longer linger around this shit,
Permanent Self
When the rain falls
under the shining lights.
When the tree shakes
on exchanges of smiles.
When our eyes closed
and the feelings grow.
Maybe these days are
nothing but a dream.
..................................
While I was supposed to let my ears pick up the readings I get by watching the lips, the thought that perhaps these very lengthy days could very well be just a dream. Like when you sleep for a couple of hours, but you developed multiple events that would normally stretch to days. It could possibly be that we are in a very comforting position, and our minds decided to take off. Wandering around the lines, building the seconds.
And at the end of it all, the sound breaks in and we no longer exist as we were in it. I would probably be an obnoxious cow lamenting on the absence of cosmetic shit, or I am the persona I have always been dreaming of in the dream.
This could be a case of lethargy. Or my head can no longer pursue the greater thoughts. Or I am giving up, hence the idea that this life is not real and temporary. Though that line does make sense as life is temporary.
But with that, what is permanent?
Not feelings, builds, faces.
What is permanent for me to hold on to?
What is permanent for me to remind myself of?
What is permanent for me to feel safe?
What is permanent for me to exist?
under the shining lights.
When the tree shakes
on exchanges of smiles.
When our eyes closed
and the feelings grow.
Maybe these days are
nothing but a dream.
..................................
While I was supposed to let my ears pick up the readings I get by watching the lips, the thought that perhaps these very lengthy days could very well be just a dream. Like when you sleep for a couple of hours, but you developed multiple events that would normally stretch to days. It could possibly be that we are in a very comforting position, and our minds decided to take off. Wandering around the lines, building the seconds.
And at the end of it all, the sound breaks in and we no longer exist as we were in it. I would probably be an obnoxious cow lamenting on the absence of cosmetic shit, or I am the persona I have always been dreaming of in the dream.
This could be a case of lethargy. Or my head can no longer pursue the greater thoughts. Or I am giving up, hence the idea that this life is not real and temporary. Though that line does make sense as life is temporary.
But with that, what is permanent?
Not feelings, builds, faces.
What is permanent for me to hold on to?
What is permanent for me to remind myself of?
What is permanent for me to feel safe?
What is permanent for me to exist?
Mixed Touch
The most awesome character. He is super during both the grave and bike periods.
Why do the animals need to feel insecure over the name, because you've taken the vibe it was carrying. WWE is just fucking stupid after the secondary school year.
A wrestler, named Shelton Benjamin. It's like watching Solicitors Guide TV. And the idiotic Texan who happen to be the cool dude in his previous days.
Good times...
But to end the day with horrible replay is just sickening.
To think that after all these years, it would've change. It's expected to have this feeling when you start the day singing the one melancholic oldies song, or at least I find it to be such
Fuck this shit. I need my ten year old self back.
Seasonal Rampage
You are just one of the many faces I had imagined
Once the smile stops the glower soon begins
As we are against what was behind us
As we are in dilemma for the memories
........................
Not only have I been made to disembark the ship to Christmas joy, I have been forced to carry the health of an unhealthy man. Only now did I realized how occupying the classes would be, since I had the urge to attend despite the condition, when normally thousands of excuses are being put together to avoid the grueling hours of chatty periods.
Here's the season to be jolly.... The irony of it all....
Once the smile stops the glower soon begins
As we are against what was behind us
As we are in dilemma for the memories
........................
Not only have I been made to disembark the ship to Christmas joy, I have been forced to carry the health of an unhealthy man. Only now did I realized how occupying the classes would be, since I had the urge to attend despite the condition, when normally thousands of excuses are being put together to avoid the grueling hours of chatty periods.
Here's the season to be jolly.... The irony of it all....
Be Gentle
Finally managed to rearrange the room. Though the steps are now flourished with the books, the old shelves are now left collecting more dust. A reason to buy more books and little things. The old maid card has been in my collection for years. Wonder if kids these days know about it, or even heard of it. The terror when you have the old maid card.
I am going to search for Happy Families and the other to complete the collection. And to buy different cards from different countries, because the one I found in Thailand is interestingly valuable to circus-head as myself.
(Thank you some guy in the record store for the free CD's. Sorry I didn't email you to forward my appreciation, or look for ways for me to do such :) )
This is given as gift and as a force to remind me that one day, I will have my feet on the ground and hopefully my bum as well, on the seat not the ground. But if all else fails, bum on the ground would do.
Praying the wind would scatter some lovely air around me.
Rupert Holmes Style
Mother has been expressing her calamity, over the absence of partner in her daughters' life.
Somehow she still fails to inhale the idea I have put forward. To live alone with a nice yard behind my house with a dog, cat, and a goat. The only thing to decorate life besides those wonderful creatures would be the nature surrounding my spirit.
I have always wish to make peace with the spirit(s). The only gateway to relinquish guilt I have gathered in the course of life would be by way of diving into the nature. Serenity blends in with the blood, calming the senses, and slowly sweep the minds off. Having a partner would only embeds even greater despair.
Who claims dying alone is a sad adventure, is a muppet. It is inevitable for all living things to die alone, unless you are exceptionally creative with deaths.
There is constant defeat to my endeavour in convincing mother that companions are nothing more than life ornaments. Akin to those hanging on the Christmas tree, occasionally settled and soon to be dispose of. To compete with brighter and more attractive kinds. Even if it lasts, it means as little as the thought of celebration.
Since she is convinced that there is no effort channeled, I will seek the other Rupert Holmes style. Though the responses would not entertain me much,since most would come from psychopaths, odd humans, or mental fucks.
From Joey Bartons' twittering, I would like a copy of it without a history behind bars as the mother would be worried of such. Also minus the twitter affliation because birds are the species I despise. Great lad he is, from the birdie viewing point. He should have make sense of Desperate Scousewives from the title itself. A group who engage in any activity with a branding of 'Desperate' speak a volume on the content, or lack of content.
Cheers to declination of humanity.
Somehow she still fails to inhale the idea I have put forward. To live alone with a nice yard behind my house with a dog, cat, and a goat. The only thing to decorate life besides those wonderful creatures would be the nature surrounding my spirit.
I have always wish to make peace with the spirit(s). The only gateway to relinquish guilt I have gathered in the course of life would be by way of diving into the nature. Serenity blends in with the blood, calming the senses, and slowly sweep the minds off. Having a partner would only embeds even greater despair.
Who claims dying alone is a sad adventure, is a muppet. It is inevitable for all living things to die alone, unless you are exceptionally creative with deaths.
There is constant defeat to my endeavour in convincing mother that companions are nothing more than life ornaments. Akin to those hanging on the Christmas tree, occasionally settled and soon to be dispose of. To compete with brighter and more attractive kinds. Even if it lasts, it means as little as the thought of celebration.
Since she is convinced that there is no effort channeled, I will seek the other Rupert Holmes style. Though the responses would not entertain me much,since most would come from psychopaths, odd humans, or mental fucks.
From Joey Bartons' twittering, I would like a copy of it without a history behind bars as the mother would be worried of such. Also minus the twitter affliation because birds are the species I despise. Great lad he is, from the birdie viewing point. He should have make sense of Desperate Scousewives from the title itself. A group who engage in any activity with a branding of 'Desperate' speak a volume on the content, or lack of content.
Cheers to declination of humanity.
The Awkward Moment
When you are enduring the pain of watching chubby kids do boxing.
I have nothing against the more developed children, but when you start giving me the 'I know I am better than you' face, then bless the cakes as I have acquired all the rights to entertain myself by producing honest chuckles on your performance. But really, not only they are both shit at it, all the juggling is a bit distracting.
To stand by Jimmy Carr's statement to a chubby girl when she, in rage, informs him that he should not have use the advantage of the fat jokes as it is insensitive to commit to such act. He bloody brilliantly respond to her that it is she that should not have the cake for breakfast, since her reaction on his jokes would be otherwise had she refused the temptation.
A fatist is I am not. If I happen to have been living as such, I would not have this ability to embrace them chubbs.
Not of my concern on how you live your life, but please stop throwing me reasons to snipe you with remarks.
So a fact for you Chubbstard (Chubby Bastard) 8 out of 10 Annoying Chubbies showcase their talent on Jeremy Kyle Show.
Perhaps one day you will be superficially superior than I am, but you will still be the annoying Chubbs, like Kelly Osbourne.
I have nothing against the more developed children, but when you start giving me the 'I know I am better than you' face, then bless the cakes as I have acquired all the rights to entertain myself by producing honest chuckles on your performance. But really, not only they are both shit at it, all the juggling is a bit distracting.
To stand by Jimmy Carr's statement to a chubby girl when she, in rage, informs him that he should not have use the advantage of the fat jokes as it is insensitive to commit to such act. He bloody brilliantly respond to her that it is she that should not have the cake for breakfast, since her reaction on his jokes would be otherwise had she refused the temptation.
A fatist is I am not. If I happen to have been living as such, I would not have this ability to embrace them chubbs.
Not of my concern on how you live your life, but please stop throwing me reasons to snipe you with remarks.
So a fact for you Chubbstard (Chubby Bastard) 8 out of 10 Annoying Chubbies showcase their talent on Jeremy Kyle Show.
Perhaps one day you will be superficially superior than I am, but you will still be the annoying Chubbs, like Kelly Osbourne.
And Fate Triumphs
over any precise documentation of facts that would describe otherwise.
I am under a very strong belief that life is a path for fate to work its magic, or a horrifying spell that is not supposed to be cast on living things.
There is not much out in the cold, for me to hold on to. Other than my inclination towards the existence of God. Hence, the justification on the level of dependence upon fate.
If it is not of fate, none of these would have come out. If it is not fate, I would have become something even more stupid.
Fate places hindrances, though it redeem its' credibility by propelling to a greater ground.
I may have miss out on familial activities or experiences, to give up a place in the University of my choice, to let go of the fields I have long to breathe in, to have bad luck develops a strange affinity with me, to have lost and been lost, and to have the clouds taking me in.
There are numerous disappointments and melancholic events in my days because of fate, but it must not be neglected that those have been indemnified with heaps of memories, the good ones.
The friends, the lands I have step on, the encounters, and more of that my ungrateful self could remember.
The fact is, no matter how awful life is at this very moment, I know fate is a great mechanism for the one I believe in, to put it all together - slowly.
I am writing all of these words as there is (are) people out there who sees beyond the letters. I am dreaming of the goods and bads because there is a need to remind myself. I am careful in my actions for thoughts to be constantly generated, since that is the only fuel for me. I am living as this awkward-unlucky-undermined-perceived as odd-deep lost in imaginations-smiling-happy to be content twenty year old girl - with those unexpected floating in the air.
and today, fate makes me colours my nails with the colour of my team and the team we are going against - without any thoughts spared on the act. The same as last fixture, where I had unconsciously grab the team short to have it on, prior to the team kicking the ball. (Not to be a direction in common days)
At times I experience things that would be remarkable as it is based purely on coincidence. Though as it occurs, the only coincidence is the fact that it keeps on playing.
Fate would bring me to a light. Not the one in Ghost Whisperer, but the one that grabs you in the lighting section in IKEA.
If you believe in something intangible, a tangible outcome would present itself. So the creepy old people tells me.
I am under a very strong belief that life is a path for fate to work its magic, or a horrifying spell that is not supposed to be cast on living things.
There is not much out in the cold, for me to hold on to. Other than my inclination towards the existence of God. Hence, the justification on the level of dependence upon fate.
If it is not of fate, none of these would have come out. If it is not fate, I would have become something even more stupid.
Fate places hindrances, though it redeem its' credibility by propelling to a greater ground.
I may have miss out on familial activities or experiences, to give up a place in the University of my choice, to let go of the fields I have long to breathe in, to have bad luck develops a strange affinity with me, to have lost and been lost, and to have the clouds taking me in.
There are numerous disappointments and melancholic events in my days because of fate, but it must not be neglected that those have been indemnified with heaps of memories, the good ones.
The friends, the lands I have step on, the encounters, and more of that my ungrateful self could remember.
The fact is, no matter how awful life is at this very moment, I know fate is a great mechanism for the one I believe in, to put it all together - slowly.
I am writing all of these words as there is (are) people out there who sees beyond the letters. I am dreaming of the goods and bads because there is a need to remind myself. I am careful in my actions for thoughts to be constantly generated, since that is the only fuel for me. I am living as this awkward-unlucky-undermined-perceived as odd-deep lost in imaginations-smiling-happy to be content twenty year old girl - with those unexpected floating in the air.
and today, fate makes me colours my nails with the colour of my team and the team we are going against - without any thoughts spared on the act. The same as last fixture, where I had unconsciously grab the team short to have it on, prior to the team kicking the ball. (Not to be a direction in common days)
At times I experience things that would be remarkable as it is based purely on coincidence. Though as it occurs, the only coincidence is the fact that it keeps on playing.
Fate would bring me to a light. Not the one in Ghost Whisperer, but the one that grabs you in the lighting section in IKEA.
If you believe in something intangible, a tangible outcome would present itself. So the creepy old people tells me.
Walking In
Sleepless nights in the city bring nothing more than an occasional card playing out in the cold. Where the air mostly works to your disadvantage.
This whole week has not been particularly fantastic for me.
Car trouble-laptop trouble-allergic reaction effected the eye-minor food poisoning-allergic reaction effected the body-horrible people destroying the house who happens to have some sort of relation with my family
The two hours of having weird China man staring at me would have made the list, but as weird people are in abundance, it is rather wimpy to include it.
Being in the city makes it even more difficult. Since you know you could have made the days better, instead, you just let it sleep around your head.
Clubbing is a pointless activity, having drinks outside is a waste of money, and I am too lazy to contact the mates for games (and the bill is yet to be paid).
This is the time where I wish a miraculous energy transports me to the pier with the bunch eating chippy, or the two days beautifully spent in Death Valley, however ironic that seems when placed together.
Though the one high up do have a slight sympathy on me, as He show me stars glimmering in the sky, when it is impossible to witness such in a polluted city.
Somehow I find the night to tame my disappointment(s).
This whole week has not been particularly fantastic for me.
Car trouble-laptop trouble-allergic reaction effected the eye-minor food poisoning-allergic reaction effected the body-horrible people destroying the house who happens to have some sort of relation with my family
The two hours of having weird China man staring at me would have made the list, but as weird people are in abundance, it is rather wimpy to include it.
Being in the city makes it even more difficult. Since you know you could have made the days better, instead, you just let it sleep around your head.
Clubbing is a pointless activity, having drinks outside is a waste of money, and I am too lazy to contact the mates for games (and the bill is yet to be paid).
This is the time where I wish a miraculous energy transports me to the pier with the bunch eating chippy, or the two days beautifully spent in Death Valley, however ironic that seems when placed together.
Though the one high up do have a slight sympathy on me, as He show me stars glimmering in the sky, when it is impossible to witness such in a polluted city.
Somehow I find the night to tame my disappointment(s).
Heart Under Attack
and another life been taken away. Though technically he passed for the condition of heart disease, it was his heart under attack that took him away.
He and the missus have been at a stage where no sight of one another would be bearable, for many years. To survive they live on their own, without any document to certain their separation. An unfortunate event began a couple months back, where the lady packed her life, with the kids, and left him on his own. To fend for his heart, both for the disease and the hole gaping inside. I'm not sure what had transpired him to give up on life, as he distant himself from the meds his body desperately needs to push for another day.
With an absence of love, family, and the pills that pump, the soul left his body. Leaving the remnants, so familiar to the ones who had known him.
If he had died from the disease, without any of the events in place, I know we all would feel better. It's almost as if he had taken his own life, and I can't bare the memory of such after my own aunt took hers a day before I turned 15.
I could only hope that the Higher above looked after him, the way he did with us.
May you rest in peace and find a place where you could mend your heart.
With this, it's almost impossible for Christmas to be looked forward to, or event celebrated.
He and the missus have been at a stage where no sight of one another would be bearable, for many years. To survive they live on their own, without any document to certain their separation. An unfortunate event began a couple months back, where the lady packed her life, with the kids, and left him on his own. To fend for his heart, both for the disease and the hole gaping inside. I'm not sure what had transpired him to give up on life, as he distant himself from the meds his body desperately needs to push for another day.
With an absence of love, family, and the pills that pump, the soul left his body. Leaving the remnants, so familiar to the ones who had known him.
If he had died from the disease, without any of the events in place, I know we all would feel better. It's almost as if he had taken his own life, and I can't bare the memory of such after my own aunt took hers a day before I turned 15.
I could only hope that the Higher above looked after him, the way he did with us.
May you rest in peace and find a place where you could mend your heart.
With this, it's almost impossible for Christmas to be looked forward to, or event celebrated.
Fuck You
I am drawn by your absence
to have the winds beating me down
But with all the travelling words
and long elegance smiles
drifting away
As I am drawn closer to you
from your absence
If you could see all the fucks I could have given, you'd probably realized the monster people were telling, is you. But yeah, fuck you, you undignified bastard who happens to paint very well. Fuck. You. And no one likes the silly rap shit/gesture, bastard.
I know for all the cusses I have uttered throughout my life, this wouldn't be taken seriously. So fuck you from the bottom of my heart, bastard.
to have the winds beating me down
But with all the travelling words
and long elegance smiles
drifting away
As I am drawn closer to you
from your absence
If you could see all the fucks I could have given, you'd probably realized the monster people were telling, is you. But yeah, fuck you, you undignified bastard who happens to paint very well. Fuck. You. And no one likes the silly rap shit/gesture, bastard.
I know for all the cusses I have uttered throughout my life, this wouldn't be taken seriously. So fuck you from the bottom of my heart, bastard.
Smoke this glass and let the shiver takes you apart
Ripping the skin along our shoulders
I'd call on the ghosts to retain my sanity. As they're the only avenue. For me to reach into the deep.
My head is calling on all things. My head would be on its' feet. My head is doing me in.
and the tarot reading didn't say anything about a person cutting smile on his/her face upon reading the (Google told me, no lies). I wish I would believe I could have those as the ultimate Christmas present. Though my senses know better, sweet things don't land on hands like flies poop. They hover around you and let you rot along with horrible face. I hope the person who wins it dreams of me, so that the person would know what it would mean for me, to have it for this Christmas - as there is nothing left here for me on Christmas.
Ripping the skin along our shoulders
I'd call on the ghosts to retain my sanity. As they're the only avenue. For me to reach into the deep.
My head is calling on all things. My head would be on its' feet. My head is doing me in.
and the tarot reading didn't say anything about a person cutting smile on his/her face upon reading the (Google told me, no lies). I wish I would believe I could have those as the ultimate Christmas present. Though my senses know better, sweet things don't land on hands like flies poop. They hover around you and let you rot along with horrible face. I hope the person who wins it dreams of me, so that the person would know what it would mean for me, to have it for this Christmas - as there is nothing left here for me on Christmas.
A Round of Laughter
Biggest Irony
The funny bits lie in the comment section, with a heap of United fans trying to comfort the man by spouting shits. Or it could be the man itself.
"I can't stand Liverpool, I can't stand the people, I can't stand anything to do with them."
My advice mate, shoot yerself in the head because I can't stand you having anything to do with football, not because of the United connection, it's just because you are terrible playing it and talking about it.
His reaction says a lot about him, being a prick and un-sporting lad. Once a Manc always a twat. Just look at the Scouser rolling around in United.
Like a wise Irish man once told me 'ABU - anything but United'. And that comes from a man who's not a football fan.
I am LFC through and through, but that doesn't permit me to hate on Manchester and its' people. My good friend and family friends are from Manchester, and they're lovely.
The funny bits lie in the comment section, with a heap of United fans trying to comfort the man by spouting shits. Or it could be the man itself.
"I can't stand Liverpool, I can't stand the people, I can't stand anything to do with them."
My advice mate, shoot yerself in the head because I can't stand you having anything to do with football, not because of the United connection, it's just because you are terrible playing it and talking about it.
His reaction says a lot about him, being a prick and un-sporting lad. Once a Manc always a twat. Just look at the Scouser rolling around in United.
Like a wise Irish man once told me 'ABU - anything but United'. And that comes from a man who's not a football fan.
I am LFC through and through, but that doesn't permit me to hate on Manchester and its' people. My good friend and family friends are from Manchester, and they're lovely.
To You
There is no claim of having best friends. There is even no such belief.
At times I could feel the whispers, urgently pushing me to remind myself of a friend. I will never call you or anyone for that matter the best friend, since I hold no interest in running that business. Though, you are one of the friends that even if we no longer align ourselves with the point, it will still be within my memory. Constantly playing by itself.
It is quite odd how we come about as friends. The wrath of our parents joining from the holiday trip with the school - the one we did (can) not involved ourselves with. I did not remember if we were in relation, other than classmate, before such event. As I was the one with the obligation to not go against the current.
With our own holiday trips - the awful shore excursion where you were left with my burned skin, the encounter(s) with the terrible person that I am (taking the phone to answer when it is the alarm ringing loud), and other stupidities we shared.
We have become more than companions, we are more likely to be family. It is my greatest regret, however, for my absence beside you when your father left us. The day haunts me until today, breaking the shield I have always keep in front of me. I could never bring forgiveness upon myself, for the failure to not see him for the last time. I do not wish to talk about this with you and I hope it will remain to be that way. Unless you are ready to hand me an awesome pet owl or liger, since I am already getting a pet goat.
You are probably one of the rare, that continues to tell me that one day I will become the person I wanted to be, that my works have always been well, and I could attain those things I have long for. No one really believes in me like you do, besides the mother and the boy who is lost. No one really clings on my thoughts and random associations with things. I could get you a cake for this, but I am still in debt with ze mother.
I would never call you my best, but you are one of the monkeys I have had the pleasure of being with. The small girl who understands the spicy food gesture, the hatred for all things, and the infatuations I have developed over the years. I would probably have to murder you if we ever go on as enemies.
So there for you my innocent mate, may you end up marrying Drogba, just so I could see how you would look like next to an extremely tall lad.
To think of it, we have been in the same place as England's youngsters before, wonder if we had seen one the boys.
And if you ever leave me sappy shitty messages again, I will hate you, forever. Sappy messages are for pansies, and we are are not a part of that community. And if you ever talk to me about this written words, I will hate you, forever, too. People do not talk about nice things the other said or wrote of the other, people talk about animals and the beautiful entities surrounding life. Like the one with number on my birth date, and his other number has one of the number in my birth date as well. :) If you have no idea who he is, I will hate you, forever, like how I would hate you if you do any of those things.
Liking this threatening relationship we have got going on here.
At times I could feel the whispers, urgently pushing me to remind myself of a friend. I will never call you or anyone for that matter the best friend, since I hold no interest in running that business. Though, you are one of the friends that even if we no longer align ourselves with the point, it will still be within my memory. Constantly playing by itself.
It is quite odd how we come about as friends. The wrath of our parents joining from the holiday trip with the school - the one we did (can) not involved ourselves with. I did not remember if we were in relation, other than classmate, before such event. As I was the one with the obligation to not go against the current.
With our own holiday trips - the awful shore excursion where you were left with my burned skin, the encounter(s) with the terrible person that I am (taking the phone to answer when it is the alarm ringing loud), and other stupidities we shared.
We have become more than companions, we are more likely to be family. It is my greatest regret, however, for my absence beside you when your father left us. The day haunts me until today, breaking the shield I have always keep in front of me. I could never bring forgiveness upon myself, for the failure to not see him for the last time. I do not wish to talk about this with you and I hope it will remain to be that way. Unless you are ready to hand me an awesome pet owl or liger, since I am already getting a pet goat.
You are probably one of the rare, that continues to tell me that one day I will become the person I wanted to be, that my works have always been well, and I could attain those things I have long for. No one really believes in me like you do, besides the mother and the boy who is lost. No one really clings on my thoughts and random associations with things. I could get you a cake for this, but I am still in debt with ze mother.
I would never call you my best, but you are one of the monkeys I have had the pleasure of being with. The small girl who understands the spicy food gesture, the hatred for all things, and the infatuations I have developed over the years. I would probably have to murder you if we ever go on as enemies.
So there for you my innocent mate, may you end up marrying Drogba, just so I could see how you would look like next to an extremely tall lad.
To think of it, we have been in the same place as England's youngsters before, wonder if we had seen one the boys.
And if you ever leave me sappy shitty messages again, I will hate you, forever. Sappy messages are for pansies, and we are are not a part of that community. And if you ever talk to me about this written words, I will hate you, forever, too. People do not talk about nice things the other said or wrote of the other, people talk about animals and the beautiful entities surrounding life. Like the one with number on my birth date, and his other number has one of the number in my birth date as well. :) If you have no idea who he is, I will hate you, forever, like how I would hate you if you do any of those things.
Liking this threatening relationship we have got going on here.
Bad Beer
Why aren't you coming home when it's sunny outside....
Most would succumb to beer or any alcohol upon the meeting of a bad day, but when you don't wish to associate your body with a high level of alcohol, you're left with a bad beer, the one that won't kill your organs vapidly. The one that contains 0.000001 per cent of alcohol. The one that makes you look like a sad git in a pub. Cheers to healthy body.
A hotel incurs a minor injury on the part of me that would certain my gender, a shitty public toilet shooting water at me due to terrible maintenance of the pipes - leaving me soaking wet and shivering from the cold air, in public, and a shoe store acknowledging my quite large feet - disappointment surrounds as I left without the sweet shoe been eyeing for.
To rub salt to the wound, the relative's wedding I couldn't give a shit of, is on the verge of cancellation.
Thought after a bad day, someone would tell me I have won a huge prize money, or a zoo or an animal is being named after myself.
For the first time in my life, the rain fails to bring joy.
Most would succumb to beer or any alcohol upon the meeting of a bad day, but when you don't wish to associate your body with a high level of alcohol, you're left with a bad beer, the one that won't kill your organs vapidly. The one that contains 0.000001 per cent of alcohol. The one that makes you look like a sad git in a pub. Cheers to healthy body.
A hotel incurs a minor injury on the part of me that would certain my gender, a shitty public toilet shooting water at me due to terrible maintenance of the pipes - leaving me soaking wet and shivering from the cold air, in public, and a shoe store acknowledging my quite large feet - disappointment surrounds as I left without the sweet shoe been eyeing for.
To rub salt to the wound, the relative's wedding I couldn't give a shit of, is on the verge of cancellation.
Thought after a bad day, someone would tell me I have won a huge prize money, or a zoo or an animal is being named after myself.
For the first time in my life, the rain fails to bring joy.
Modern Warfare 3
Since I won't be having a proper Christmas this year, could someone please get this for me now.
and a new sweet bass guitar.
and a new sweet bass guitar.
I should really be studying, not playing with Sharpies.
and the Liver Bird is not really meant for environmental purposes, I just don't have a red Sharpie, and tying it with nature seems like a viable excuse.
I believe I was a 6 years old kid in the former life. It was probably a he because I spent most of my time laughing at things and video games, and ice cream for breakfast. It is suspected that he died of maximum enjoyment, presumably of sugar high. The content got to his brain and exploded, leaving the remnants of joy and hyper ism to be carried on by his successor, and that would be me.
and some footballers' last name is Cattermole, doesn't help me much since I haven't covered that damn subject.
The sight of light
triples the breaths
catching on the indefinite
I could gaze into the stream
and swim with the lost
as where we could reach
is steadily awaiting
and I linger for more
following the birth of the sun
to get past the superiors
to grasp hold of the healers
for we should have foresee
the depth of the picture
....................................................
If you happen to release you ability to find me, listen carefully.
triples the breaths
catching on the indefinite
I could gaze into the stream
and swim with the lost
as where we could reach
is steadily awaiting
and I linger for more
following the birth of the sun
to get past the superiors
to grasp hold of the healers
for we should have foresee
the depth of the picture
....................................................
If you happen to release you ability to find me, listen carefully.
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